My Wonder World

I have my rights too

2012-01-17T23:42:00.004+08:00

Having to encounter 2 bossy customers during the last 2 day of my work really makes me feel mentally exhausted. I really hoped that I could really give them a tight slap on their face and telling them to fuck off! but everyone always says.. "Customers is always right", I really couldn't agree more, they are not wrong, but not right in every way either. We are all humans by the end of the day, isn't it?

I have my rights too.

It really kills my mood just by thinking of it. Why do customers always have to act bossy towards people who are assisting them? We all work under bosses, don't we? Don't they know how it exactly feels? I hope they do.. but I don't suppose they care. or do they think we're just some low life people who are meant to serve them and their ohsohighlylife. fuckoff.

seriously, being sarcastic aint going to help. show some damn respect.

I didn't like how my last 2 days of work ended, but gladly i won't have to face bossy customers that only knows how to make people life miserable. I hope karma comes and slap them in the face fucking hard. I hope.

From all these, I realise that living in a family who express mostly through anger, I had try my very best not letting everything bothers me, but in the end.. I just can't. I still burst out. At least I tried, maybe not at my very best but I did. Does not like the feeling of being pushed so low until standing up for myself is the only choice I have left. I definitely do not like being step on. I believe no one does.

I have my rights too.

Dollyeye Love

2012-01-16T09:53:00.003+08:00

Finally can have dollyeye contact lenses again..

all thanks to the best baby ever, and yes she's back! <3

will try to update blog soon as working from 10am to 8pm really takes away all the time for me to do something else. really can't be bothered doing anything other than talking, playing with the bf, and especially when the bff is back home too! now life can be beautiful.. SOMETIMES. ;)

Morning all! have a pleasant day!

My heart loves you.

2012-01-04T23:15:00.003+08:00

Off to bed, snuggling with my dear babyboy after a long day of work.

Goodnight word~ :D

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012 ♥

2012-01-03T15:22:00.001+08:00

Another new year and I decided to start blogging again. :D It's been a year since I last blogged, not so sure if I could still............. but I'll give it a try. So far 2011 has been quite pleasant for me, as I have always hoped for, compared to those few years where shit keeps happening to me. Hopefully this year would be another pleasant year, *fingers crossed*.

Although 2011 has been quite pleasant but there are a few crazy up and downs, I fell for the wrong guy, a really bad mistake I made. Always forgotten to keep myself reminded on how people would change, and have always been so naive to believe that someone who was once nice to you (or should I say someone I used to have a crush on) in the past would still be but I was all wrong, really horribly wrong. Glad that I was able to get out from the mess I brought myself into.

BUT, when I thought to myself, People CHANGE, DO NOT give TRUST easily, then I met a guy, wtf? A guy who was my friend, who went to the same tuition with me during primary 5, who was my first crush, who I haven't met for billion years and never thought I would, AND has already totally forgotten who he was, including his name, everything. ( all I remember was he hit my eye with his socks, accidentally he says ). He came to my workplace and took my number, and at that time, we totally had no idea we knew each other AND when we did, we hang out often and eventually got together. I thought to myself, NOT AGAIN?!

Skipping all the crap, He is awesome! :)

"Find the person who will love you because of your differences and you have found a lover for life."

Found it, Found him. Wonder if I am the one he's looking for?

Animals are God's Creation too

2010-04-22T15:54:00.005+08:00

" Health-
That adorable puppy in the window of the pet store is hard to resist, but you may be paying a lot of money for a dog that you know very little about. Pet stores generally rely on impulse buys to sell their "product". There is a good chance that the pet store puppy will develop a health problem sometime in its life that may cost you a lot of money to remedy. When you buy a pet store puppy it is very unlikely that the puppy's parents were screened for genetic diseases that can be passed to their offspring. Every breed of dog has genetic problems that are passed from generation to generation by breeding dogs that carry the flawed gene. Many of these genetic problems can be detected with today's technology, but these tests are expensive. People who are concerned about the welfare and future of their breed will have these tests conducted to preserve and improve in the future quality of their breed. Most good breeders are more concerned about the health of the puppies that they are producing than the money that they will or won't make on the production of a litter.

The myth about AKC or MKA papers-
Most pet shops and backyard breeders and puppymillers would like you to believe that if a puppy is registered by the MKA, this guarantees the puppy will be healthy and a good example of the breed. This is not so. The only thing that MKA papers certify is that the puppy is a purebred and produced out of MKA registered parents. Even this can be fiction, as some producers register more puppies than are actually born in each litter to receive extra registration slips to pass out with unregisterable puppies. The parents of your puppy may be unhealthy or carriers of crippling or deadly health defects which they may have passed to their offspring- your puppy. They may also be horrible representations of the breed that you are buying. Often times the parentage of pet store puppies is also questionable due to poor record keeping. In other words, your puppy may not even be a purebred, even though it has MKA papers. Responsible breeders do register their puppies with the MKA, but that is only the beginning.

Do you want to support puppy mills?
Almost all puppies that are in pet stores come from puppy mills. These operations are exactly what the name implies. Most mass produce puppies with money as the prime motive. Their breeding dogs are often kept in very poor conditions and are sometimes malnourished. The dogs are almost never tested for genetic diseases and may not receive vaccinations. Puppy mills often obtain their breeding dogs from people in a hurry to get rid of their dogs for some reason, often through "free dog" ads in newspapers or public auctions. Occasionally they are stolen from their owners. Females are generally bred every heat cycle until they are worn out and then they are often sentenced to death. The horror of puppy mills is encouraged every time a puppy is bought from a puppy store.

How do you know that your puppy comes from one of these places? The main reason is that almost no responsible breeders will sell puppies to pet stores. Good breeders want to make sure that their puppies go to good homes and are well cared for. They want to be actively involved in screening the home that their puppies go to. Breeders are also concerned about keeping track of their puppies after they leave the breeder's home. They will know about any health problems that their lines may carry, and will be interested in any health problems that a puppy of their breeding develops. A pet store usually never hears about their puppies once they leave the store, and generally really don't care. Buying from a pet store does not mean that you will save any money in the purchase price of the puppy either. When you buy from a reputable breeder there is no middle man involved who wants to take his share of the profit out of the price of the puppy. Often the price that good breeders charge is no more, and sometimes less, than what you will pay buying a puppy from a pet store. But you must be able to distinguish a reputable breeder from a backyard breeder.

A pet store is generally the worst place to buy a puppy. As long as there is a market for pet store puppies, other dogs will be condemned to death by mass breeding only so that a few people can make some money, often with no thought of the welfare of their "product." This is not to say that a good pet has never come out of a pet store, as many have. For each that has, though, many others have not. Remember, when you buy a puppy, you are adding another member to your family, not just another piece of furniture that can be disposed of at the smallest whim. You would not have a child without careful research and planning for the child's future ten or fifteen years down the road. Your new dog should be no different. Adding a dog to the family is a long term commitment and responsibility that should be taken seriously and only acted upon after careful consideration and research.

This is what a shelter manager wrote.

A Letter from a Shelter Manager:

I think our society needs a huge " Wake-up" call. As a shelter manager, I am going to share a little insight with you all. ..a view from the inside if you will.

First off, all of you breeders/sellers should be made to work in the "back" of an animal shelter for just one day.

Maybe if you saw the life drain from a few sad, lost, confused eyes, you would change your mind about breeding and selling to people you don't even know. That puppy you just sold will most likely end up in my shelter when it's not a cute little puppy anymore.

So how would you feel if you knew that there's about a > 90% chance that dog will never walk out of the shelter it is going to be dumped at? Purebred or not!

About 50% of all of the dogs that are "owner surrenders" or "strays" that come into my shelter are purebred dogs.

The most common excuses I hear are;

"We are moving and we can't take our dog (or cat).

" Really? Where are you moving to that doesn't allow pets and why did you choose that place instead of a pet friendly home?

Or they say "The dog got bigger than we thought it would".

How big did you think a German Shepherd would get?

"We don't have time for her". Really? I work a 10- 12 hour day and still have time for my 6 dogs!

"She's tearing up our yard". How about making her a part of your family?

They always tell me: "We just don't want to have to stress about finding a place for her we know she'll get adopted, she's a good dog."

Odds are your pet won't get adopted & how stressful do you think being in a shelter is? Well, let me tell you, your pet has 72 hours to find a new family from the moment
you drop it off. Sometimes a little longer if the shelter isn't full and your dog manages to stay completely healthy. If it sniffles, it dies.

Your pet will be confined to a small run/kennel in a room with about 25 other barking or crying animals. It will have to relieve itself where it eats and sleeps.

It will be depressed and it will cry constantly for the family that abandoned it.

If your pet is lucky, I will have enough volunteers in that day to take him/her for a walk. If I don't, your pet won't get any attention besides having a bowl of food slid under the kennel door and the waste sprayed out of its pen with a high-powered hose.

If your dog is big, black or any of the "Bully" breeds (pit bull, rottie, mastiff, etc) it was pretty much dead when you walked it through the front door. Those dogs just don't get adopted.

It doesn't matter how 'sweet' or 'well behaved' they are. If your dog doesn't get adopted within its 72 hours and the shelter is full, it will be destroyed.

If the shelter isn't full and your dog is good enough, and of a desirable enough breed it may get a stay of execution, but not for long.

Most dogs get very kennel protective after about a week and are destroyed for showing aggression. Even the sweetest dogs will turn in this environment.

If your pet makes it over all of those hurdles chances are it will get kennel cough or an upper respiratory infection and will be destroyed because shelters just don't have the funds to pay for even a $100 treatment.

Here's a little euthanasia 101 for those of you that have never witnessed a perfectly healthy, scared animal being "put-down"....

First, your pet will be taken from its kennel on a leash. They always look like they think they are going for a walk - happy, wagging their tails.

Until, they get to "The Room", every one of them freak out and put the brakes on when we get to the door. It must smell like death or they can feel the sad souls that are left in there, it's strange, but it happens with every one of them.

Your dog or cat will be restrained, held down by 1 or 2 vet techs depending on the size and how freaked out they are.

Then a euthanasia tech or a vet will start the process. They will find a vein in the front leg and inject a lethal dose of the "pink stuff".

Hopefully your pet doesn't panic from being restrained and jerk. I've seen the needles tear out of a leg and been covered with the resulting blood and been deafened by the yelps and screams.

They all don't just "go to sleep", sometimes they spasm for a while, gasp for air and defecate on themselves.

When it all ends, your pet's corpse will be stacked like firewood in a large freezer in the back with all of the other animals that were killed waiting to be picked up like garbage.

What happens next? Cremated? Taken to the dump? Rendered into pet food? You'll never know and it probably won't even cross your mind. It was just an animal and you can always buy another one, right?

I hope that those of you that have read this are bawling your eyes out and can't get the pictures out of your head I deal with everyday on the way home from work.

I hate my job, I hate that it exists & I hate that it will always be there unless you people make some changes and realize that the lives you are affecting go much further than the pets you dump at a shelter.

Between 9 and 11 MILLION animals die every year in shelters and only you can stop it. I do my best to save every life I can but rescues are always full, and there are more animals coming in everyday than there are homes.

My point to all of this: DON'T BREED OR BUY WHILE SHELTER PETS DIE!

Hate me if you want to. The truth hurts and reality is what it is.

I just hope I maybe changed one person's mind about breeding their dog, taking their loving pet to a shelter, or buying a dog.

I hope that someone will walk into my shelter and say "I saw this and it made me want to adopt." THAT WOULD MAKE IT WORTH IT!

DON'T BUY FROM PET SHOPS. ADOPT FROM AN ANIMAL SHELTER. CALL YEN IF YOU CAN PROVIDE A HOME FOR A RESCUED DOG OR CAT. CALL HER ALSO IF YOU WANT TO BOARD YOUR PETS. SHE HAS A GREAT PLACE AND THEY WON'T BE CAGED. THE INCOME SHE EARNS FROM BOARDING GOES INTO RESCUING AND REHOMING STRAYS. SO YOUR PETS HAVE A GREAT TIME WHILE YOU ARE AWAY AND IN THE PROCESS YOU ARE ALSO HELPING ABANDONED AND HOMELESS ANIMALS.YEN: 012 415 1524

If you endured and read all that stuff, or if you're too lazy to read all that is written, just watch this video. If you have the time, go and find more videos in youtube about Oprah exposing puppymills.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bx5jc_atNs
To me, BYBs are no better than puppymills. They do it all for cash. And you won't want to be supporting them. "

by reneyap on Wed Jun 24, 2009 2:39 pm
Sources : http://miricommunity.net/viewtopic.php?f=39&t=22140

I was surfing around to see any cute dogs for sell (out of boredom, Not planning to get any new pup ) and this is what I found. It breaks my heart to read this but well yeah all these pain and torture, shits and all have been going on for years and years. Just wanna share it with ya'll. Maybe someday when you think of getting a dog, you would investigate further info of the dog that you would be getting. Though no one cares about how the animals suffer in brunei, malaysia or well every most asian countries, I would hope PUPPY MILLS are stopped.

HAH! Come to think of it.. FUCK! JoJo could have came from PUPPY MILLS. CHEBAI... =.= You You You !@#$%^&%$#@ muthafuckers..

PS I'm still not over you :)

2010-04-19T01:11:00.002+08:00

Having my mom's room to all myself now ( my room is still under renovation, room-less at the moment) since mom told me she won't be coming back home tonight :( Clicked on facebook and thought of playing some answering questions thingie and this is what I get for Question 12 after skipping most of 'em. HAHA.

So there it goes, it just got me thinking back to so much stuff. Which of my friends would I like to reconnect with? Alot, come to think of it. :) Would love to fix things up with most of those who are now gone but some are just nearly impossible.

I'm not whining or in any mood-swings, I feel okay. :) Just having thoughts flowing all over in my head now. What if's this, What if's that. I still miss the good old times even if it was too much to deal with. There's this someone that suddenly popped out in my mind right after reading that question. And ah~ I can't turn back time, can't take back words that hurts, Can't heal a wounded heart and blah blah it goes on. Sooooo~ Someday if things could turn back right again, I promise I'd be good. :)

So yeah, it's just somewhat a random post. My twitter is now back to live, trying to do the same thing for this blog. Just hope I won't suddenly turn lazy again cause damn that's gonna sucks. :(

p/s : Assignment sucks to the core. F*
p/p/s: Having JoJo sleeping on my lap. Sweet *hearts*

Forever a part of me ♥

2010-04-14T13:09:00.002+08:00

" It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love,
Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be."
- Craig David ; Unbelievable.

My life is almost complete, everything's slowly falling into the right place. Eventhough there are times where I would wake up to a heartbreak, but that's the way life goes. Shit happens. :)

I am now slowly moving on with life, so many things/people that was once part of my life that I missed are gone and I guess I am already letting it go. I don't want to keep myself at the same place forever missing people who would never return. It doesn't matter much anymore now, right? I am content with what I have.

Other than feeling that things are going right(not all the time, that's okay), I have to say I love my dad so much for bringing JoJo into my life. It's funny, seeing myself, loving a dog this way but I just love it, I love it to the max. Never felt this much towards Ratzo before, probably because it wasn't mine to begin with.

Seeing JoJo is every morning puts a smile on my face =) I love you JoJo ♥

♥ JoJo ♥

2010-04-05T00:21:00.005+08:00

The love of my life ♥

be back soon...

I Love Baby JoJo ♥

2010-02-18T11:36:00.003+08:00

Right here wishing ya all a belated Happy Chinese New Year & Happy Valentine's day! :)

Didn't get to update this blog for quite awhile cause I was being a lazybum as usual & I was stucked at miri for CNY celebration plus the net connection was pretty bad. It kept getting disconnected so I gave up eventually and go fucking watch TV!

I'm back to brunei now but laptop-less. Stupid me, I forgotten about my laptop and left it in Miri. I'm currently using Seng's Laptop to go online but why the hell isn't anyone online? *grumbles grumble grumbles*

How was everyone's CNY celebration and did ya'll manage to spend valentine's day together with your loved ones? I didn't and It's our First Valentine yet we're apart from each other. Other than being apart from each other, we got into a huge fight, I guess that totally ruined the mood for CNY & V day no? :( But nonetheless, I love him still. :)

There's so much more to say but this brain ain't functioning.

Anyways! After so many years, I've finally met Romena! Someone I've been wanting to meet for so long and never thought it'd happen. I miss you jie! Thanks for sleeping over and spend some time together after so long. Loves!!

So, are you guys wondering whose baby JoJo at the moment? I'll update about it soon. :D Rofl.\

This is life, Can't give a fuck anymore

2010-01-27T20:12:00.002+08:00

Yes, I am feeling extremely shitty right now and this is why I don't blog often. Seriously, who wants to keep reading an angry blogger's blog? FML lah okay.

And what's worse? I don't have INTERNET. To be exact, I DO have net but I AM not allowed to use IT. Why? I was accused of doing things I DID NOT but seriously? I can't give a fuck anymore!

!@#$%^%$#@$%^ this is what happens when you live with people who don't communicates. !@#$%^&^%$

I am using someone's else internet right now :( Sighs. fml. fml. fml. fml. fml. fml. fml.

Anyways, I can live with shitty life since life has been shitty all these years and still surviving.

On a brighter note, My result is finally out and it felt like one burden is finally let off. I did not get good grades this time but I am very the fucking content cause I FINALLY PASSED my damn diploma accounting! & also successfully passed 3 of the advanced diploma subjects. To be honest, I didn't put much effort in studying this time so I did not put hopes in passing any of the subjects. When I actually saw my result, I even doubted that result wasn't mine. So yes, I'm extremely relieved and what more can I say? I fucking need to study harder next time! Can't always depend on luck for long. :)

One more advanced diploma subject & one more semester, higher diploma to go. I'm dying ( I prolly died like a gazillion times already by saying that word all the time )

Off to get some food. Grumbles...

When I think of you, I don't feel so alone ♥

2010-01-25T01:54:00.006+08:00

It's been ages since I last blog because I've been so much of a lazy bum :) So I thought, It's time to get rid of that habit off slowly starting by doing things that I usually do, BLOGGING! Yes.. will see how long that thought of mine would last. Tag often, a little motivation would do. hee..

Okay, this might be somewhat a little too late but so what?

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS! =D

A new year, A new beginning. Although I feel no difference. It's the same thing, going through the same shit. One thing that I do not like, Feeling Older. Sighs. But I still hoped everyone's 2010 would be way off better than 2009. :)

I wished mine was better, is that even possible? LOL.

Okay, Honestly? I didn't had a good start on 2010 but things got better. Clearly I knew that it's totally impossible to not feel shitty sometimes or maybe ALL THE TIME but hey, I don't go find troubles but troubles come find me loh! =.= wtf.

I can't be so sure that this 2010 is not going to be a hell for me. Somehow I feel like there's more up and downs for me to go through, You're definitely getting it too. Don't bother laughing behind the screen when my life got fucked-up, you'll be going through it even if it ain't the same shit. :) Gee, Why so cranky meis?

Bah be nice. Peace :)

I think lah.. I think lah har... I don't want to say 2010 is going to be the super awesome but I would say, 2010 would be just fine :) but then, How can we be too sure? So best thing to do is just to live life the way it is. At least would be much better than the previous 3 years lah somewhat (though there are some consequences I just have to take)

&&&&&&&&&& I found someone that I'd call,

My Soulmate ♥ My Baby ♥ My Bestfriend ♥

& After so many years of heartbreak & Always falling in and out of love, I found someone who I never realised had always been there for me,

My Guy ♥ Beh ♥ With, My Love ♥

I don't know how far can we go & I don't want to know. All that matters now is having you guys by my side. :)

Off to bed. Nights :)

P/s : Thanks Love for changing the Layout. ♥
P/p/s : Yes, After so long, this blog is not private until I don't know when. We'll see.
P/p/p/s : I haven't been blogging for so long, I feel so weird!!!!!!!!!!! =.=

Happy Birthday Love!

2009-11-01T22:50:00.004+08:00

Ola~~~~ Happy birthday My dear Love. Hope you had a blast on this special day of yours! Ola~~~ lolx!

------------------------------------------------

Can't believe I'm stucked at home at this damn hour. I should be out not rotting at home this way. Can't believe I'm saying these when I actually have 5 days left till my assignments deadline. Yet I'm not doing anything about it. Someone save me.. T_________T

Nothing much is going on nowadays, I seriously can't figure out what to blog about. The only thing I can think of now is, seng gave me a heart attack few days ago when his friend called up and told me he had an accident. ( Funny thing is, on that particular day, 29/10, there were so many accidents! rofl)

and this bastard rather let me stay mad at him thinking that he's on his hot cold mode again. Guilty much.

Anyways! Seems like some people just don't change. They never will. They'll always stay the same, retard. I made an awesome right choice not going back. You sucks balls.

p/s : just ignore how cacat my english is nowadays. I haven't been blogging and still ish being a lazy bum. =.= huhU~

x♥x♥
toodles

My Love

2009-10-28T22:31:00.001+08:00

The banner was down this afternoon and now it's finally back up!!!

I LOVE YOU MY LOVE! CHANGMIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

x♥x♥
toodles

Thank You Lord

2009-10-28T12:29:00.009+08:00

Received an email from my dad with the video attached. Along with some words telling me that it wasn't daddy the one who has been giving me all those lovely gifts but it was lord. Remind me how long haven't I been to church due to my lazybum-ness. & M missing my daddy now T_T huhu~

Not to mention even losing motivation in blogging and twitter. How can I be this lazy? Tsk.

but anyhoos~ I'm here now (and soon be gone again aaha)

Where shall I start after such a long time of not blogging?

I wouldn't tell you life is completely awesome so far. After having to deal with a breakup with my 3 years and a half long relationship with my exboyfriend. It was one hell of a struggle for me and took so much courage to finally decide to walk out of it. With the help of the guys keeping me occupied and their constant companion, I shall say I am doing fine right now.

If I told you I've completely lost my feelings towards this guy or that I have completely forgotten everything about us would completely be a lie but I know better this time to just move on. It's such a waste to see it all go down the drain just like that, we could have sit and talk it out but I choose the other way round. All those crazy fights, it has to end. I know someday, we'll find the right one for us. =)

I think I might have found my sense of belonging. My guys and My girls have completed my life. and I love you guys to the max. You pretty much know who you are. =)

Anyways! Moving on. Yesterday was one hell of a crazy day. I was at tungku beach from 4.30pm to 8.30pm.

Lovely ain't it?? Even more crazier. I was actually stucked at the beach for hours yesterday all thanks to seng! =.= Never in my life I'd walk on the beach bare footed but heck! Yesterday awesomely crazy, fun, and ended with fucking more stressed to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me : stuck edi!!
Seng : No lah noh
Me : oh.. ok loh no loh. *thinking whatever makes you happy then =.=

nauhea. but yea fine, walking bare footed was fun. hohoho~

And it's getting darker. wahlao eh!

but we made it out somehow. and I think I'm starting to love going to the beach even more now. I shall walk bare footed there again someday! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

So yea, I guess without the help of others and a few of our friends and seng's brother, we probably would be stucked there for I don't know.. I don't even know if we're be able to get out of there =p

Other than that, assignments are starting to pile up and deadline is almost near yet I'm not getting it done. Lazy bum so much.

AND AND AND AND AND AND, I shall announce this in my blog!!!!!!!

After so many fucking months, After all the struggles, and the recent trauma. I've finally got my DRIVING LICENSE!!!!!!!!!!!

and of course, without that one person who had been sacrificing so much for me and still stood by me after all the troubles I've brought into her life. thank you so much babe for you unconditional love, your never ending supports. Appreciated it much. Hugs.

Not to mention, baby supports listening to all my rants, worries etc, seng driving me up and down, back and forth sending me to driving lessons and college. Ai ren, who've always tried many ways to cheer me up.

and the exboyfie, wingz, who help me called up my driving lesson teacher. If not I would never have made the first move to start going for driving lessons again and here I am now, having my driving license on my hand.

Thank you guys. So much.

not to forget, my parents and my siblings neverending teasing, laughing it out and making fun of me. I know I may not have been a good daughter, a good sister or a friend but I'll try my very best.

And I'll do my best for you baby, =) to be a better bff. I'm sorry for making you worried sick about me few days ago T______T I love you so much.

This post is getting emo-er now. I shall stop.

All in All, Just wanna tell you guys how much I've appreciated all the things you guys have done for me. I might have a messed up life but I'm truely blessed having people who loved me and still stick around after so much things that had happened. I don't know how life would be without you guys.

I need you all like how the night need it's stars ♥

x♥x♥
toodles

No one knows the rythm of my heart

2009-09-23T20:09:00.002+08:00

Was thinking that since I have nothing better to do and I'm stucked rotting at home today, might as well update ya'll on my recent situation aye? And of course to remind those who loves me and hates me that I'm not dead yet. huhu

I don't know since when did it started but I've totally lost motivation in blogging. But I am sure it definitely has nothing to do with me being upset, moody, grumpy or the so called emo-ness.

Shall I blame it on twitter then? huhu Anyhoos~ yes I have twitter and you can follow me at

http://twitter.com/meis7o5

I'm not going to put all blames on twitter though cause I've also left my twitter for quite some time already. haha.

but hey, I'm blogging right now ;) and if I don't and you're so curious about my life then go look for me at twitter. ROFL.

wtf.

ANYWAYS

I'm doing great shall I say? Not going to say life's perfect now. Just well, No more worries about relationships shits but here comes friendship stuffs and so on.

Trouble just love me so much, it decided to stay longer and hey, it probably would not leave. Don't we just love troubles? rofl.

I was thinking of uploading pictures and posting it on blogger too but I guess facebook made my life easier. I've uploaded all of it to facebook and now I just can't be bothered posting it here.

lazy bum mode.

and I'm kinda wondering why is everyone privating their blogs anyways? Tempting me to private mine too. LOL.

OH FYI, My dad is back. =( I've lost my freedom but hey I've had enough fun. At least I tried to go out as much as I can before my mom is back. I so knew I was gonna be jailed again. heh =.= nevermind, I respect my mom! So I'mma just gonna stay home and be a good girl when she's around then. Sighs.

And, finally get to watch lotsa hongkong series that I have been waiting for. huhu so I'm off now to my series. My lovely series. rofl.

A short update. Will try to motivate myself to start blogging again OR well like I said, Follow me on twitter lah diao.

x♥x♥
toodles

I'll make every second count

2009-08-29T16:19:00.002+08:00

Didn't want to blog, but wanted to remember that today..

Muffin, My pup, Died.

=.= I'm cool. Didn't affect me that much cause it's morning, blurrness. fuh~

okay done. hehe. gtg~ my blog so lame these days. rofl. cacat english somemore. fuck

x♥x♥
toodles

Every breath it's harder to believe

2009-08-27T14:03:00.002+08:00

I keep telling myself that if there's a wall right infront of me, why the fuck do I keep on running foward to it and getting myself hurted in the end?

I have no idea why. but I never failed to get myself being hurt all over again. or getting myself into troubles. neverending heartpain and so fucking on..

So If there's a wall right infront of me right now, why the fuck ain't I trying to find ways to breakthrough? Instead of banging towards the wall and get hurt, wouldn't it be so much better trying to find ways to breakthrough it? or what climb over it if I can then. FML

well basically my life sucks bad now. and I'm starting to get lost once again... whose going to save me back this time? sighs

x♥x♥
toodles

Lazy Bum

2009-08-22T10:16:00.004+08:00

I'm too lazy to blog.

Lazy Lazy Lazy.......... so frigging Lazy.

I just wanted to say..........................................................................................

Yesterday's Graduation was fun fun fun. Despite the feeling of being afraid that I might tripped infront of everyone else when going up to the stage to get the cert.

Pictures............ had like 20ish of 'em here but too lazy to upload it now. It's a hectic week for me. =.=

At the moment, I'm waiting for LOTS more pictures taken by my friendS cameraS. Pictures are everywhere. rofl.

Gah Gotta go and get ready now. Need to send SayangTeeqs stuffs back to her.

and it's time to go on a serious diet! Dammit!

x♥x♥
toodles

Last Cry

2009-08-18T20:07:00.004+08:00

Ever since she left me without a word, I never thought I would bump into her or see her face to face again. but maybe I should think positive ei? It might happen, just it wouldn't be a good thing.. or it'd probably in a way where it would just.. well make me speechless for a minute of shock.

I saw her today, eventhough it was just a glimpse but I totally knew what I was seeing. She was just right infront of my face, it may not be clear as she's sitting in a car at the backseat but I know.. I saw her. That moment, I totally went blank..

Now that I start thinking of it, I'm starting to wonder. I'm not waiting right? cause I don't know, maybe I am not waiting anymore OR maybe I am waiting for just one reason so I can really honestly tell myself that It.Is.Over.

Am so totally fine right now though, I'm pretty much used to friends come in and walk out of my life. It does hurt at first and still hurt a little right now but you know, feelings come and go too. I'll eventually move on and still survive anyway.

..though I'd still think about them from time to time.

I haven't been doing anything much lately other than going to college. had to wake up so early every monday, I totally hate it.

Have you ever watched Garfield Cartoon? I've watched this one garfield cartoon and that Garfield say something like this..

"I hate monday. It is monday blue isn't it."

Uhh.. I'm feeling like that right now. I hate monday. sigh.

On the brighter side, Mom is finally back but is soon leaving again. How nice?

Woke up early again today morning, was having the thought of going to my aunt saloon and thought it would be nice to accompany my mom early morning to the bank and so on since I haven't been talking much to her. and she goes..

"you're so bising lah!"

mehehehehhehehehee..... xD I complained too much =D

So yah anywayssssssssssssssssssssssss.. I have this er...
graduation ceremony this week
- 2PM, Friday, 21st Auguest
- Didn't like the fact that we were told to dress up in FORMAL ATTIRE.
- did they say business/office type or what? I so don't feel comfortable in it and had a really not nice time searching for it too. =.= (..me damn fussy )
- Got sayang to accompany me to the graduation ceremony thing and hopefully she don't cancel on me last minute. *keeping my fingers crossed*

What else?

2 PUPS were taken away by a neighbour of mine. No idea who though. Soon I'll be left with 2 pups after 1 male is given to ANG this sunday.

I'm thinking of keeping 2 of it, but mom wouldn't let me. Meh~~~ and and and muffin is so damn adorable lah! So damn lazy. Each time I grab it with my 2 hands, it didn't move at all! It just stays there looking back at me with it's puppy eyes. =D

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah so I can't think of anything anymore. Life isn't great but it isn't that bad at all..

So yeah let's just keep hoping I won't breakdown anytime soon. Still trying to slowly fix things and well I think the person who needs more "fixing" would be me (attitude wise and so on). meh~

x♥x♥
toodles

Can't take this shit no more

2009-08-12T13:04:00.002+08:00

There's a reason why I've been MIA, because I'm not in a damn good mood since the last time I last blogged. Things just keep coming in making my life hard to get back on the dam right track. I'm sick of it and I don't even know how long more can I actually keep holding on to what I'm trying to do now. I'm. fucking. tired. already.

I could have just go on with the "can't be fucked" mode right now, but I don't know. I'm not even sure what's the right thing to do.

You know... You know you just don't belong in that circle of friends anymore even after you've tried countless time of fitting in but things still stayed the same. So, why keep on trying when I know I'll eventually be leftout in some ways. Things might be great for a day but it won't always be the same. There's nothing I can do but to deal with the fact that I don't belong there anymore. Afterall after less than 12 months, I won't have to see them anymore. All I gotta do now is to do my own things. Lets hope I don't breakdown. heh.

Anyways, I'll just random note down things here cause well, I'm still not in a very good mood. Ratzo's death, Mom not home at the moment-till-I-dont-know-when, Another fucking dream I had this morning and ugh nose bleed in the morning sucks.

Random -

This is one of the puppy which is my favourite, and I called it..
Muffin.

It's almost 2 week or so now, soon before I even realised it I'd prolly see puppies running around. With mom not being around to tell me what to do, It is so going to be a chaos. =.=

Had my haircut few days ago. and loving lychee tea now.

- I'm screwed in this advanced diploma semester as it involves lots of calculations. therefore it involves lotsa numbers. I hate numbers. could never deal with 'em.
- Watched G.I.Joe yesterday with wingz, It's kinda nice.
- Should have made an approach and clarify things but why did I not. I don't know.
- I hate staying at home now cause mom's not around. and ratzo is gone. sigh
- I shall remind myself to ever ever ever not scratch my leg anymore even if it itches. Now it damn hurts because the skin peeled off. ouch. fuck mosquitos!
- It's 1.51PM right now and I still hadn't had my lunch yet. This is why I hate it when mom's not around. =(
- I'm craving for pizza hut & sushi. -.-
- I'm going down to play with the pups.

x♥x♥
toodles

Don't wanna be torn

2009-08-03T22:31:00.003+08:00

♥ R.I.P RATZO ♥

prolly the last picture I've tooked of you.

My family's precious dog that was brought back home all the way from France, Paris by my 2nd brother.

I heard my mum talking to my nephew and somewhat mumbled to him that my dog, ratzo died this morning. I totally didn't respond to it when I overheard what my mom said at first because it was early morning, I was awfully sleepy still obviously was at a complete blurness state. When the morning blurness slowly went off while I was walking to the toilet to take a shower, a sudden sour feeling came rushing onto me.

I knew ratzo has already passed away, I knew what I heard and I thought I was totally cool with it ya know? like I already knew it was going to happen but when I came to realise that he was really gone this time, I cried. and it hurts. It hurts to know that I won't be seeing it in my mom's room every morning I wake up. It hurts when I knew it's not going to be at the living room sitting quietly waiting for us to come home. It hurts when I come to realise.. it couldn't and ain't coming to jump up on me and giving me a kiss anymore. Yet the night before, I was being a total bitch to it.

On a brighter side of the note, at least it's free now. It has been starving itself for 5-6 days after going for an operation. Right now, it wouldn't have to suffer anymore. I supposed the only regret it has was not being able to see my 2nd brother for the very last time.

I'm missing you now.

somehow because of this, it kinda make me think about a few things. It made me think of things that has been happening recently. Getting back on the right track really wasn't easy at all, it was gawd damn fucking hard few weeks back because I was all alone with no one to talk to. but things has been getting slightly better for me, at least way better than before. this isn't my point though.. my point is, i just wanna say..

i just wanted you to know.. I care, I really do.
I'm not saying this so you would want me back,
cause this time around, you've made the right choice
and I don't know what I could do right now,
there really isn't much I can say too cause I'm never good in putting my feelings in words,
so I don't wanna make a mess, or making it worse by saying wrong things.
I guess all I wanted you to know that I still care.
and I really do wished you well.

x♥x♥
toodles

Take this chances, We'll make it somehow..

2009-07-30T11:27:00.004+08:00

I have to say I had a great sleep and a pleasant dream. I didn't dream of anything or anyone that I'm not supposed to think of anymore, I didn't have to feel horrible waking up from dreaming about it anymore. I feel good today :) I'm going to keep my finger crossed hoping that the rest of my day would go fine. T________T

... all I wanted was a Peace at heart. So give me a break. fuh~

Somehow this semester class timetable kinda sucks but it'll be fine soon I suppose. I have like 2 classes on monday. 10am to 1pm & 6pm to 9pm. T________________T why did they have to leave such big gap there???? And no classes on tuesday so basically I have 3 days of class nia diu~ Sounds like I need to get my lazy ass up to find myself a part time job. I doubt I would o.o fuck it anyway

Anyways, I think I've gained weight again. All the efforts of starving myself wasted just like that. And I know that starving just to lose weight is not the right way T____________T kiam pui kiam pui~ die die also must lose weight.

Moving on. Went out with the guys last tuesday, it's somewhat like a last day hangout before Love's boyfie, Kevin return to his so-called hellhole in KL. lol. It was... a great day for me. Haven't been laughing so much since.. since things all went the wrong way. Trying to get back on the right track really isn't easy but I'm trying. Gotta keep trying.

these are some of those arcade photos we took. I've took a number of times with different friends and I have to say these are the ones that I love the most right now. It's such a waste that we didn't really went and put an effort in trying to decorating it.

Everytime I feel like my mood is down, I shall take out these photos and look at it. It'll sure put a smile on my face. :) I missed ya love *"*

We had our dinner @ excapade.

I ♥ U

Salmon fire cheese is LOVEEEEEEEEE!!

I feel chubby right here. It's alright, someone's chubbier there. =3

Angugu, AhSeng, ME, AhYung & Kevin.

Inappropriate for a girl to be pointing middle finger. I know.

Love's boyfie & Love

Seng & Yung
(baby, look at seng face =.=)

I'm craving for sushi again T____________T I want salmon fire cheese. We were kinda lucky that night, it was actually a last minute planning to eat at excapade. We made no booking in advance and went there just hoping that we'll get a table. We got a room instead :P Surprisingly.. thought excapade would always be full but maybe not this time around. Most people are prolly afraid of h1n1.. maybe not. =p

Anyhu, I'm going to get ready early and have my late lunch soon. How I wished that I'm still having holiday. My parents are going to melbourne for 2 weeks!!!! 2 frigging weeks!!!! I haven't even had the chance to go melbourne ever since my last fucking christmas holiday there. =( There's so many things I wanna eat there, like like.... spanish donut T___________T STEAKS *drools*. and how my parents tell me the korean food there is so delicious. nabeh! I can't believe this.. =.= so much for being on diet xp

x♥x♥
toodles

If you couldn't careless about what's going on with our friendship, then I won't care too.
You can keep quiet and pretend like nothings wrong, we can move on easily just like how we used to do so
You're on your own.

Butterfly fly away..

2009-07-28T12:26:00.005+08:00

Uploaded Miley cyrus - Butterfly Fly Away. My current favourite song. ♥♥

Another perfume added to my ESCADA collection

ESCADA OCEAN LOUNGE along with samples of mini Incredible ME perfume & it's body Lotion. also bought Y2J Album cause I couldn't find anything I want. I just had to get at least one Album before going back home.

If it wasn't because I was trying to tidy up my room a little bit, I probably wouldn't notice there's a new perfume in the PARKSON paperbag -.- . Friends who saw how many perfumes I've already had would have guessed the love I have for perfumes. wtf.

It's silly when I think of the numbers of perfume I've already had, I probably could get both DS and PSP for myself already T_________T

Anyhu~ My dog, Mimi had given birth to 5 pups and I have no idea who did it frigging mate with but If it's my housedog, Ratzo. It'll be totally adorable! and If it is, I could keep one of 'em puppeh~

....but if it mate with a stray dog, the male puppies would be given to a friend of mine and the female, unfortunately.. might be injected to sleep. =( cause my mom is afraid that the dog might make lots of noise at night and my dad would be very extremely grumpy. Of course if I could persuade my mom not to, I wouldn't want to see any of those pups being put to sleep. But I'm just not responsible enough to be taking care of 'em~

( I just came back and finished taking a shower, left this post halfway done and went out just now. It's 12.32AM now)

Moving on, I've said in the previous post that my class is starting on the 27th, which is last monday. Class was totally exhausting for the first day. I only realised I was at college for actually 12 frigging hours when a friend of mine told me about it. Why the fuck 12 hours anyway? Why not? We had orientation from 10-1, Information Management 2-5, Q&A 6-9. Normally I reach college like an hour earlier or so, so that's like 9am to 9pm at night. So much for the very first day of my Advanced Diploma Class. T______T

but overall it was not really that bad although my moodswings is being a bitch. =)

I was seriously tired having to wake up early for college because I enjoyed too much the night before and eventually forgotten that I actually had to wake up early the next day.

Last sunday dinner @ cheezbox with Love ♥

= D =3

Accompanied CCK for his extreme late dinner @ MCD
how much i hate my panda eye on that night T________T

Love's boyfie ♥ kevin & I

It's getting late already, I'm off to bed. *yawns*

x♥x♥
toodles

Can't go far, can't always dream..

2009-07-25T10:34:00.002+08:00

The thing that I feared did happened. I've finally got my result few days ago and I failed one of my subjects. Depressing ei. The thought of needing to resit for it this coming semester is so suffocating. Like I can't breathe or somewhat. But it's okay, gotta think of it in a positive way. It's so much better than repeating the same semester again. I rather not. Afterall, I clearly knew that I would be failing at least one of the subject I had in mind because earlier on during the exam, I've did the wrong answer to the wrong question. Obviously I knew I'll fail it then. FML.

That's alright, I'm content that I had at least 1A and it's something that I wasn't expecting of. I've got A for my Business Law!!! Yet starting of the semester, I actually thought Law is so hard and I was going to fail. T___T Why would studying be easy anyway? heh. I should be happy with my result. Fuck that D.

Business Law - A
Business Communications - B
Business Management - B
Business Accounting - D

How I hate Accounting so much. Since result is already out then my class is starting soon too. Very soon. I'll be having my class this coming monday and it's mostly night class. It's going to be so tiring. Sighs.

Moving on..

Some face stuff that I bought from faceshop. Had no idea how many weeks ago already. Been really lazy taking pictures and posting it up. I just thought that I haven't been posting any pictures so randomly uploaded some for this post.

Anyhu~ I went out with the guys last saturday ( I think ) and that 2 days was really nice. At least I didn't have to stay at home feeling lonely and thinking lots of unnecessary stuff.

with love ♥

had our dinner at KFC. Delicious and so Fattening T___T why some girls born skinny one? Eat so much also won't gain weight. Sienx.

You know the famous 0 2 5 pose? The act "cute" poses girls using nowadays. Made the guys did it. Though ah seng looks very reluctant. He wasn't really posing, it just happens he was posing that way.

Love, Love's boyfie & Me.

With the guys.
Seng, Kevin, Me & Yung

I love my tee so much!!!!!!! It says "physco bitch" LOL. I've been dying to lose weight and finally I fit in that damn tee! =.= Don't know rot in the closet for how many months liao. It was given by someone... who used to love me. Forget it. Whatever.

I've been having dreams lately and it's always about the same person. This time I didn't dream of him taking care of me when I'm ill, or finding me in MSN to chat. This time I dreamt that I called him and I was crying.. for what reason I don't know. I don't want to dream anymore and it's like wtf? Why the hell am I dreaming of the same person when I'm not even thinking about it. Gawd.. I wanna kill him so bad and that damn gorilla. Whatever.

Going off now...

p/s I know my hair looks weird or should I say UGLY. I fucking know okay? Don't even remind me of it. I've already had it shorten but I just don't have the pictures here with me. =.= diu~

x♥x♥
toodles

It's gonna be just fine

2009-07-15T16:00:00.002+08:00

I'm back in brunei right now but I'd be going back to miri again soon. It's holiday afterall and the fact that result isn't out yet is making me freaking out, I'm frigging afraid that my results are bad. I do not want to fail any of the subjects cause I wouldn't want to take the fuss resitting for it next semester. 4 subjects is already enough to kill me mentally.

Anyways, I'm feeling really sick right now. No, not h1n1 wtf. I'm just having a major headache, god my head feels like it's gonna burst.

Off for a rest now.

x♥x♥
toodles

What you've put me through..

2009-07-13T14:48:00.004+08:00

Happy Birthday 137 ♥

It has been a year or so since we've last talked to each other. Even so, I still missed and think about you sometimes. It doesn't matter if you've already forgotten about me, what matters is you're still right here somewhere deep down in my heart. Happy 19th birthday ; Wishing you all the best and have an awesome day.

p/s I'm stucked at miri for a week T________T anyone bring me home??? fuh~

this heart has so much to give ;
without love it cannot live - Meis

x♥x♥
toodles.

I hate this part right now

2009-07-10T10:24:00.003+08:00

I have a feeling that today is going to be a struggle for me. There's so many things I've tried so hard not to think, but it's impossible to forget everything completely. So what if I can not think of it today? Would that mean I won't think of it tomorrow? tomorrow's tomorrow? I can try to isolate myself from everyone, I could even try to hide in my room, or even hide under the blanket through days and nights just to avoid from bumping into something or someone that might remind me of things, be it good times or bad times. I can't do that forever.

I need a new place to go, a place where I could start all over. A place where nothing would remind me of anything. This heart, it hurts so bad. All through these heartbreak and the recent trauma, I'm surrounded by people who say they care and people who say they loathe me. It keeps repeating in my head and I still can't deal with it.

I had a dream last night that I was seriously ill, you were there and took care of me,
I thought it was real, but I woke up to it realising it was just a dream.

I rather not dream of you

難道這晚特別怕冷人牆內擦過寂寞應該慣

I'm not going to be in brunei these couple of days, will be going down to miri again. Supposed I could take some quiet time there being alone.

x♥x♥
toodles.

Another drama down

2009-07-04T11:50:00.002+08:00

I'm back to being bored again. I finished 25 episodes in 2 days and I'm left with no series to watch anymore. =( but I enjoyed my 2 days of watching each of the episode because I have to say this may be one of the best drama that tvb have produced!

Rosy Business

Mainly about lead actress trying to protect her husband business from his evil son and first wife and the lead actor whom found respect and trust in the lead actress and helped her to go through every up and downs, protecting her from the people who tried to harm her.

Normally I'm not so much interested in these sort of movies because it can be really heartbreaking but it's just acting right? Anyways, I saw its preview on astro thinking that it look interesting and I'm pretty sure my parents would love watching it. So I anyhow bought it and they liked it!

It was in my room for days right after my parents have finished the whole episode. At first I kinda hestitated watching it but once I was on the first episode, I couldn't stop myself from watching it already. :D I love it! two thumbs up ♥♥♥♥♥

Sheren Tang is such an amazing actress and so is Wayne Lai who finally has his own lead role! ♥♥ the rest was awesome too ~

Watch it! =D

I so need to get myself more series to watch.

and I shall go tidy up my room ;) ciaox

x♥x♥
toodles.

Terima Kasih Cinta Untuk Segalanya ♥

2009-07-02T10:45:00.005+08:00

♥ HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♥

Finally 18!

July01 ; Happy birthday Sayangku. I ♥ You :D Life in MD has been great with you around even if it was just 3 months short. Without you there, I'd probably even be more depressed than ever. I'm so glad that we met each other, miss you so much. :) Keep in touch always yes.

July02 ; Happy Birthday Darling. Words cannot describe how much I "love" you. =.= you stupid !@#%^ (Giving you face since it's your birthday). Life has been great too.. with you around in MD pissing me off. Anyways! Eventhough you are finally 18 now but you're still a little boy to me. So be good and swearing everytime you talk to me! So rude. jkjk

Nonetheless I love & miss you both so much. Enjoy and hope you both had a blast! Lots of love. :)

-----------------------------------------------

I've never been a fan of listening to cantonese songs eventhough I am currently addicted to watching lots of hongkong series. Come to think of it, I was more addicted to taiwan series rather than hongkong. Was never so much attracted to hongkong actors as well.

My Favourite Series among all

War-in-Laws II

That's when I started getting addicted to hongkong series.. and also Bosco Wong, the lead actor in the movie who happens to have the same surname as mine. *drools* I know he ain't such a cutie cutie to most of you(or maybe to all of you) but he is to me. I've already started noticing him in other past movies even before I watched Wars-in-Laws II.

I downloaded Bosco In Love With Bosco Album (The first picture you've seen after the birthday greetings) yesterday afternoon and I love every single bits of it. The first person ever that got me into listening cantonese song. Way to go! ;)

Changed of blogmusic.

So I end this post by dedicating to you Bosco Wong song,

第幾天《賭場風雲》插曲

無懼傷心畫面
記住我共你相愛每一天
甜言蜜語背後絕不敢欺騙
是你讓我學會依戀
怎去為你奉送溫暖
我的心愛你未變
就算未記得十月十七天

第幾天　被當選
學懂戀愛要冒險
其實這份愛令我改變
或是我太眼淺
第幾天　被討厭
沒法再愛我因為早已被發現
其實我愛得瘋癲

曾越多少界線
以換我沒法洗去那污點
為何沒法接受絕不肯心軟
若結局註定難改變
討厭極我如常參戰
就算輸我也誓戰
但我極痛苦像墮入深淵

第幾天　被當選
學懂戀愛要冒險
其實這份愛令我改變
或是我太眼淺
第幾天　被討厭
沒法再愛我因為早已被發現
其實我愛得瘋癲

Oh Baby, do you know that,
you mean the whole world to me…
Now that you're gone,
I'm so empty without you…
What else can I do to make you stay?
What else can I do to make you love me?

p/s: I've bought 3 series before I came back from miri and now I've finished all of it. FML I'm frigging bored!

x♥x♥
toodles

ToGetHer

2009-06-29T12:43:00.002+08:00

愛就宅一起

Finally get to watch this drama and I love it :D

2009-06-29T09:31:00.004+08:00

The black lens is awesome..

I like how it made my eyes big & black.

It could have been even more black if only my eyes aren't quite brownish. but I like my brown eyes too so I shall not whine about it. Come to think of it.. I like almost anything anyways.

Anyways, I've been doing nothing much. Wasted the time by watching lots of series and I went to miri and stayed there for nearly a week. I slack too much and ate too much this holiday, especially times when I was at miri. I'm so fat now. T______T

and I had the thought of privating this blog and leaving it to be. I lost motivation and interest in blogging, totally. Even had a hard time to make myself open up blogger to start up this dull post. So if you find this blog suddenly being private again after some time, then you'll know why yeah.

To be honest..
I'm not fine. I basically feel like giving up on everything at this moment with what I'm feeling. Studies and all those shit, what's more on life? take my fucking life away already! Nobody needs a useless retard who can never do a single thing right. I feel like shit. I don't see the point of being alive when everyone whom I thought would always be with me left me all alone in the end? I can't even "express" my own feelings to people whom I wished them to knew. Seriously, just DIE meis! I don't even want to see my result! I don't want to go back to class! dammit!

To make things worst, I'm not feeling well at all. I feel so drowsy these few days. FML.

but all in all, that's just how I felt these days. At the same time, I knew I ought to get my feet back on the ground. It's so hard and I don't know how but I just have to. Or.. everything would be the same and nothing's change.

I just wanna do something right.. for once.
How dumb can I get..

I'm going off now. Gotta go catch up with my series. I see lotsa lotsa offline messages left in my MSN. sorry! Haven't been right infront of the laptop.

and sorry for going offline just like that LULU =) Net sucks in miri.

xoxo
toodles

All in All, It's just another day now

2009-06-19T14:19:00.003+08:00

This blog is now open but still.. empty.

I could have just left it privated until I have things to blog about but I clearly know that as long as the blog is privated, I'll never get myself to post anything.

so here it is, open to public again but with nothing, no new post, n.o.t.h.i.n.g.

Anyways, I'm on holiday right now. Exam's over! I can sleep the whole day without having to worry about what topic to study for and so on. I love holiday :D

Uh huh I'll get myself to make a new post soon. (I'm beginning to lose interest in blogging already. uh)

I missed you :(

[Updated]

Changed the song.

You, You don't like it when I show off
And You, Always tell me that I have to stop
You act like you don't know who I am
Well I don't get the props out on demand

Cuz You are all the drama, you are all the show
Tellin' me the thing about where I gotta go
You nag at everything like I'm just to young to know

So what? I don't care of what you say anymore
You thing you're so cool but you're such a bore
Don't wanna hear your noise
So leave me alone
So what? I don't care if you like it this way
It's crazy how I waste my life away
So it's time I moved on
Cuz everything Is wrong with you
So So So what?

You think that everything is just pretend
And you don't like it when I'm with my friends
I can't turn your voice off in my head
And I know every word that you've ever said

Cuz You are all the drama you are all the show
Tellin' me the thing about where I gotta go
You nag at everything like I'm just to young to know

So what? I don't care of what you say anymore
You thing you're so cool but you're such a bore
Don't wanna hear your noise
So leave me alone
So what? I don't care if you like it this way
It's crazy how I waste my life away
So it's time I moved on
Cuz everything Is wrong with you
So So So what?

xoxo. toodles.

Feels like it's gonna give life's to hard to live anymore

2009-05-25T10:49:00.003+08:00

I have no rights, no guts to ask for another chance,
to tell you how sorry I am for the things I've caused,
& how thankful I am to have you,
how much I appreciated what you've done.

I don't know how things would be like,
& a sorry doesn't heal a heart that's being broken all over again.
I have no courage,
to bring myself up to talk to you.
I can't face to know that you might be leaving.

I don't know what else I could do,
but just an Apology, from Me to You,
and a Thank You.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There won't be much or no updates at all going on in this blog for the time being.
I would be keeping myself busy studying for my upcoming exams.
I won't be online as often anymore.

xoxo. toodles.

Blow the candles

2009-05-17T15:51:00.005+08:00

This is going to be a short post. Birthday wishes go to these people. :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Wingz 13/5

baby 16/5

& dy 17/5 (birthday boy in the middle)

Hoped all of you had a blast!

Wohkayz, told you this is one heck of a short post. I've gotta rush to go out now. :D

xoxo toodles.

Dear GOD..

2009-05-14T18:49:00.002+08:00

Tell me everything will be alright.

My dear babbit had an eye infection, so far that's what it seems like. It had a hard time trying to open its eyes. If something goes wrong with babbit's eyes, I'm so not going to have anymore pets in this house.

I should have paid more attention to the rabbits! T_________T

*pats myself on the head*

&

*pats on Chua head*
Time to study lah diao!
:)

xoxo. toodles.

All that is needed is time

2009-05-09T16:25:00.008+08:00

I found this and hell it made me laugh.

It's just too adorable. O.O

Anyways, words could not even describe how I feel right now and by now most of you would have known that last thursday was my birthday. It was a rough day for me but having to be surprised by stephie whom I thought was busy studying for her exam yet made an effort to come and give me a surprise just made me smile. I wouldn't say I had the greatest or awesome birthday this year because obviously it wasn't the greatest neither was it awesome. If I was asked to describe how was my birthday in one word, It would be a 'disaster'...

...almost a disaster. Like what I've just said, having to be surprised in the morning by someone whom you thought wouldn't have the time to be with you on your birthday really was so unexpected and I feel lovedddd bebeh! ;) I had the most dull-est reaction ever when stephie came to surprised me and I replied to her, "am I suppose to scream now? o.O"

It was one heck of a stupid question to ask.

We then had our lunch at escapade, and we had icecream at swensen. :) Thanks dawling, for everything. ^^ ♥

Then I received this box of present from my seatmates. :)

It even has..

little princess wordings on the ribbon itself. awwww..

and it came with a..

birthday card too. =) (heh, apparently, "father of satan" and his "2 junior satans" wished me a happy birthday too. wtf. -_____________-|||| lol )

Just when I thought my birthday would be over in few more hours that night and because I had a rough day, I didn't have a birthday cake nor did I blow off any candles...

then I heard someone calling my name from outside of my room.. "mei mei"

I went out and there giorgie jie standing outside of my room with a..

Cupcake ♥ Thank you. :D It even has my name on d cupcakessssss. ♥

Other than that, I would love to thank you all of those who wishes me a happy birthday through phone, msn, tagboard, facebook & friendster. I wasn't expecting that much of people to greet me but still, thank you. :)

In the present box, it was something that I like so much..

A HIPPO. ;) Thank you. ;)

Dear mr-who-said-that-our-bond-is-so-strong-that-it'll-never-break,

Thank you for being so cruel that finally I am able to decide whether should I hold on or move on. I waited and hold onto believing every single words that you said and even choose to trust someone who in the end disappointed me so badly. Thinking that as long as the clock has not strikes twelve, there might still chances that you will greet me on my birthday. Unfortunately, when the clock strikes twelve that night, my heart shrunk. The fact that you did not greet me, I assume you have already forgotten everything about me. Here, I assumed you have choosen and have finally decided that your so called ~~gorilla~~ opps girlfriend of yours would be the one whom you would want to spend the rest of your life with, so what if our friendship bond so strong right? Girlfriend number one what and NOT LIKE I WANTED TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU. It's just that I am incredibly disappointed in you but hey, nobody's perfect right? Maybe I shouldn't blame you, we all do mistakes what wtf, true or not? :P wtf wtf. haha. but hey, I'm moving on now. May both of you last long long till you die ah. Die also die together, sweet right? I know sweet, wtf. Seriously, LAST FOREVER YOU TWO. =) Cause, I wouldn't want to see you coming back telling me how HURT you are just like how when your ex-girlfriend DUMPED you. Remember SIR??? I hope you do.. :)

byebyes, have lotsa lotsa of banana for your gorrila! (norbit)

Lazy bums going off now. ;)

xoxo. toodles!

2009-05-04T15:42:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SUYIN!

Once a year I get the chance
To wish you birthday cheer.
It pleases me no end to say,
I wish you another great year.So happy birthday to you Suyin Jie,
From the bottom of my heart.
And may your good times multiply,
Till they’re flying off the chart!

By Karl Fuchs, poemsource.com

Faster come back liao, okay? :) Will be waiting for you to come back and collect your birthday gift from me! Muaks. Love you always ^^

xoxo. toodles.

We used to be so fine.

2009-05-01T16:07:00.010+08:00

I have.. 30 minutes to go before I go out. There's nothing to do so I thought, why not update a little? I seriously need to motivate myself more cause this blog is getting so boring.

Whenever I'm at home, I tend to hide myself in the room. All day long, seriously. I'll only get out from my room when there's a need for toilet or food. C'mon lah, Impossible I starve myself the whole day right? Even if I'm dying to lose weight here, I'm not that mental yet. YET, I repeat. (It means it might happened.. when I'm desperate =x )

But things changed now.. all hail to the bunnies. =.=

I have no choice but to force myself to go down and play with 'em once in awhile. :P I read lots of website saying that if you negelected your bunny, your bunny will die(No lah, I lie one. LOL). or somewhat like that. Though I know most people caged their bunny and hardly even let them out anyway.

I just heart my bunny, I don't want them die oh! T_______________T

Uhhh so yea, I played with babbit&ribbon few hours ago.

(OK I didn't finish this post and went out. So I'm continuing this on 2nd May, 11.33PM =.=)

Babbit ♥

Ribbon ♥

( Again, I fell asleep after waiting for these pictures to upload. Doing this right now at 3rd of May, 1.13PM.)

They are getting bigger. I wonder when will they have many babies for me to play with? =x and for my nephew to play ~~and strangle~~. JUST KIDDING. But I really want to have a white bunny. Are you wondering why the bunnies are still at my home whereas it's suppose to be steph's birthday gift? Well, she gave it back to me. Because we had this huge fight over something so stupid then now we hate each other so much. And the bunny will remind her of how cute I am wtf, so she no like. She bagi balik.

You know I wasn't serious about that right? =.= Noh lah, steph couldn't keep the bunny at her home at the moment so we're keeping it at my home lah. Yea............ :P

Moving on, I finally get to meet up with steph and had a great time talking to her. We had our lunch at swensen and was very bloated right after that. My diet would always ended up a failure whenever I'm out with her.

Anyways, After spending basically the whole day talking and all that with steph, I finally feel much better. And I also came to realise that I am not the type of person who starts a conversation nicely(Right, I realise this long time ago -.-) even in the most appropriate time, I would still failed to make a decent conversation. Sometimes I couldn't think of a proper topic to talk to a certain person, even if I was asked to talk about a certain topic which suits within my knowledge, I would still messed up the whole conversation. Just take my recent presentation which I had to do in my college for example.

Maybe I am just not the type of person who approach another. Being a person who is very much of an introvert, no wait, I am not that introvert. I am just too shy(maybe :P) to say out my opinions. Perhaps you should just approach me if you want to know what I am talking about now.

( If I would to say it in a direct way, It would be, I'm not the type of person who would make the first move so If you want to know what was on my mind or wether if you would want to be friend with me, Just tag or leave me an email. I would be glad to reply you =). )

There has been so many things going on in my life recently and just like everyone else, I tend to think a lot too. The only difference maybe is that I could not be bothered to explain. That's just the way I am loh. I hate to explain things through because I know that I could not build my words nicely. I actually do have a lot of things to say, but when it comes to saying it out, I tend to lose everything. I know it would be my problem that I tend to leave some people in a mess just because I cannot clarify what I said. The thing is, sometimes people have to try to understand that not everyone can be good when it comes to putting their words together. I'm indeed a good example.

Bear in mind, I am trying to express my feelings here. I am, as a matter of fact trying hard to let others know that sometimes I am not being offensive, okay?. As far as I am concern, My blog usually consists of a lot of thinkings that accumulated in my mind. But because I am not expressive enough with my words, I tend to write them simply. Just like how you can see the way I've written them in my previous postings.

I need a person who can understand what I am going through. I won't force you to understand but I just wish that you know that I am like this, I cannot express too much because I cannot explain my thoughts properly, be it written or in conversation.

Shiet. I forgot about the time. I gtg now.

Did I mentioned this? I finally drive! With stephie beside me of course :P I am not allowed to drive to college all by myself yet. I had to wait for steph to finish off her exam and then she'll be staying over my house for a week.

Alright, I really gotta go now.

xoxo toodles.

The lights are on, but I'm still in the dark.

2009-04-29T21:39:00.004+08:00

You must have thought that I'm dead but too bad for you, I'm still alive! hehehehehe

I was going to lock my blog for a week or so, thinking that by the time I unlocked my blog again I would be all fine or well, if I managed to get back to my ownself again. I doubt so though but then I was asked to open up my blog so here I am. It's not private anymore! There! Happy now? hahah! jkjk~ wtf

Did I tell you about my all fuckedup days? well yea, you bet it's so fucked up alright. Apparently, I really don't know what's going on with me these days and there's just no solution to it for now. I'm still searching for it. :P but why fuckedup, you asked. I made it, I screwed it up. Happy? Yes, It's all my blardy fault for screwing things up.

Way to go meis! You just decided to open up your blog again and there goes all the foul language. tsk tsk tsk.. someone ought to teach you some manners girl. HAHAHAHHAHAHA

Ahem, excuse me. Where was I? right, about my days.

I had presentation yesterday and well before I start going on whining about how I screwed up my presentation. I shall say my thank you to my bby for helping me with the presentation. Thank you Thank you ah. :D

Okay, back to my presentation. I was late for class, for straight two days already. heh. As soon as I arrived college and went up to my class. The teacher was going to start on the presentation already and I haven't even really done my speech! With the help of bby, everything was done except for.... the way how I'm going to present and what I was going to say. I screwed it up.

Initially I thought I could really just come out with points by just looking at the slides but then I guess I was too confidence with myself. Not only I was not able to come out with points to elaborate on what was shown on the slide, I even clicked the wrong slides and what I was saying at that time wasn't even relevant to what the slides were showing. Way to go meis! Not only the slides went wrong, I clicked "next" and "previous" quite a number of times. I was reading the wrong thing and the wrong slides came out! SI BEH PAISEH LOH OKAY CAN??????? Right after what happened, all I had in my mind was to get over with the presentation as soon as I can before I humiliate myself even more. Mind you, I was swearing all over during the presentation. Hah =.=

I was all red after the presentation was over. Nvm lah, we all do mistakes what. No one's perfect, true or not? Don't agree? Fine!

Uhhh~ Now that presentation is over, I can loosen up a bit. Finally. T_______T

Ummm, other than that. Like I've said, I haven't been feeling like myself lately. I again, tend to isolated myself from my friends. There's like so many "why" on my head right now, so many question with no answer to be found at all. Sometimes I don't understand why I drown myself in the past too much and made it so hard for me to find a way out.

Looking at what I've wrote in the previous post, I guess I must have been so heartbroken then.

I don't understand how a person still can tell you how much he/she still loves you but yet s/he left you all alone in the dark. I wonder if she's so much worth it for you to throw away what we once shared.

Moving on.
I changed the song on my site. This time it's by2- Don't go away. Duh~ It's written there. wth

So I'mma end my post with the lyrics of the song "Don't go away."

Looking to your eyes
There’s nothing to hide
And you’re no longer mine
How could I survive, when you say goodbye
Why do birds still fly up high?

Can’t stop the tears from falling
We used to be so fine
And you walk in to my life
I’ll try to reach out for you
Just to be with you
My heart is breaking

[Chorus]
Don’t, don’t go away
Baby don’t you know I miss you so
Don’t, don’t go away
I’ve never been on my own before

Can you hear me just take me with you
So don’t, don’t go away

[Chorus]
Don’t, don’t go away
Baby don’t you know I miss you so
Don’t, don’t go away
I’ve never been on my own before
So wont you try to feel my heart beat once more

credits : wayango.com

xoxo toodles.

when it all falls apart..

2009-04-26T15:14:00.003+08:00

It just seems to go bad everytime

Gotta pick myself up but where do I start?

xoxo.

Struggling for a way out

2009-04-24T20:21:00.006+08:00

Maybe distance is the only solution to stop myself having so much negative things going in me. And probably some friendships are never meant to work out. No matter how much you tried so hard to do your best and reached one's expection but in the end everything still falls apart.

You have your issues, I have mine. We all got a fair share of problems. It's neverending. Misunderstanding sorts out all over again & again & again. History just never stops repeating itself and I've had enough. Rather than letting one friendship falls apart and go wasted.. let time decide whatever that's going to happen next.

I just don't and I just can't fit in your circle.

p/s: I'm at college right now. The college's having a BbQ night. gtg.

xoxo. toodles.

[Edited]

I've tried to put myself in other's people shoes, especially people whom I love(Maybe I didn't try hard enough). I tried to understand the situations(Even if I failed to) but I just don't see you understanding mine.

yet I thought you knew my words weren't supposed to be taken seriously. wtf.

Cause you're never out of second chance

2009-04-22T11:27:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE, DAWLING STEPHIE. *hearts

ahaha. I found this when I was browsing for pictures of us to put in this post. I like this one! xD

Another YearI’m wishing you another year
Of laughter, joy and fun,
Surprises, love and happiness,
And when your birthday’s done,

I hope you feel deep in your heart,
As your birthdays come and go,
How very much you mean to me,
More than you can know

By Joanna Fuchs
http://poemsource.com

Love you always.

Though you're going to be pretty busy on your birthday and mine but it alright. ;)
There is still next year, next's next year and years ahead of us.
kambang bulu ku yo. jkjk~

SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN BABE!
Don't forget to visit your bunnies, ribbon&babbit. :D

xoxo toodles!

One of those days

2009-04-17T23:43:00.003+08:00

Soi. So damn soi. I did my nails today before going out. I didn't cut it and left it long and now I broke it when I took my phone out while pressing on my messages. I don't know how it happened. Of all the times to break, why now. Now I have to wait for it to grow long again. sienx.

I had a day out today with my friends. It was not too bad though one of us were missing but it doesn't matter anymore. Yeap, it doesn't matter anymore. You read what I said. :) I hate seeing myself this way all the time, I don't think you like it either, don't ya. I had enough.

Before I end this post, and the time strikes 12. I'd like to wish a dear friend of mine..

a HAPPY BIRTHDAY, linda. Best wishes and hoped you and all of us enjoyed the day today. I sure did. :D

before I forgot. We watched "Coming Soon" today. Horrible.. urgh. I bet I can't have a nice sleep tonight. Sighs.

Gotta go now. It's late.

xoxo. toodles.

Not falling for it no more..

2009-04-16T22:52:00.002+08:00

Muahahahha I've been missing for almost a week or was it more? Anyways! forget about that. I've been watching series, going to class early, and trouble myself with assignments! fuhhh

hence the lazy attitude of not wanting to blog. :P

I was quite happy for the past few days but then everything fell apart again today. wtf. So that explains the title of the post today. But I'm wohkay~ I'm already over it. I'm always like this. =.= sienx.

Moving on..

My hair is now.. black. Again.

Didn't do much to my hair, but just had it straightened. I don't know how long has it been since I changed a new hairstyle.

Can you spot anything different other than my hair being black. :D Rawr~

Bah~ I'm going back to my series. Initially I wanted to do a long post today after days of being missing but then I had a sudden tummy pain. No mood already. wtf.

This is going to be one of the most crappiest post ever.

xoxo. toodles.

No. Not again.

2009-04-11T11:40:00.002+08:00

Sighs.

Nothing feels right. What could have gone wrong this time?

Sighx.

Screw assignments. Screw everything!

xoxo. toodles.

Bunnehh

2009-04-08T22:17:00.003+08:00

My latest obsession. Stephie's advanced birthday pressie.

Bunnies!!!!! =D

They are so adorable!!! T_________T

Mom bought bunnies for stephie and I bought everything that was needed for the bunnies XD

It's currently in my house now. ;D

Meet Ribbon.

and Babbit.

I wanted to call it Ruby, but stephie got used to calling it babbit. :P

Anyways! Just updating! busyy busseh! hehe.

Gotta go!

xoxo toodles!

I try to find some hope to try and hold onto.

2009-04-03T17:13:00.002+08:00

Everyday I sit here waiting
Everyday just seems so long
And now I've had enough of all the hating
Do we even care, it's so unfair
Any day it'll all be over
Everyday there's nothing new
And now I just try to find some hope
To try and hold onto
But it starts again
It'll never end.

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking?
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken
And there's nothing I can do

Almost giving up on trying
Almost heading for a fall
And now my mind is screaming out
I've gotta keep on fighting
But then again...
It doesn't end.

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do?
I'm heavily broken
And there's nothing I can do
And there's nothing I can do

Feels like I'm drowning
I'm screaming for air
(Screaming for air)
Louder I'm crying
And you don't even care.

You'll never know how much it hurts to keep trying to pretend I don't miss you no more.

My head hurts because of the heat and I can't stand it any longer. T____________T It would be nice if it rains for a bit now, my aircond is already put on high yet I still can feel the heat. It's making my head spins even more. Gah~ I feel so sick.

I did not break my fast today! :) I almost did though cause I was craving for KFC so much yesterday night. =.= but I didn't break my fast. :) I had sushi.

I was supposed to be going to miri today but then I cancelled it because I wanted to accompanied linda to college to complete her assignments. So I did. I woke up early but I slept quite late yesterday night so I'm like in a super extra cranky mood right now, and the heat!!!!!!!! T___________T

I went home half an hour earlier cause apparently wingz heard the wrong time from me. He went and took take away sushi from escapade then jolibee for my sister in law and my niece who watched cartoon too much and ignored me when I said my goodbyes. =.=

And you know what came into my mind? :) It's something that has to do with me having my driving license. :)

The first thing I would do when I get my hands on my driving license and my car. I would send food to wingz, stephie and my sister in law. :) Be it breakfast, lunch or dinner, whenever I can and I will. ;) Because they've been bringing me out for lunch, to class whenever my parents weren't around. So yeap! Of course I'll be driving stephie around when the times comes. ;) So whenever she's tired from tuition and everything, she can have some rest and I'll drive. *cough*

Speaking about driving license, I know I'm pretty slow with it. That's because my timing and my teacher weren't right. It's either when she's free, I'm not. Vice Versa. It's kinda hard. That's wohkayz. My teacher likes me afterall cause I don't talk back when she's mad. She ended up laughing anyways. :P I guess I know that "If I fight fire with fire, all I get is a bigger fire" so I better not talk back T_______________T especially with people that I'm not close with. I don't dare to marah marah eh. Kena hantam karang. Haha. Kidding~

That fire thing doesn't implies on me much. :P I'm full of fire myself, so take water and cool of your fire if you want to be friends with me for a long time. haha. Most of the time, I just don't want to lose. I don't know. Just don't go telling me I have an attitude problem cause I'll screw you. That word pissed me off.

Guess what I realised? Spammers are everywhere! How come everytime I blog hop, comfirm got people blog tio spam one ah???? Then why mine don't have? Must be my blog too boring liao. JOKING JOKING. DON'T COME SPAMMING AH. -________-|||

Even if I don't have spammers. I have people disturbing me by messaging my phone number for straight 3 days. The last time was a call instead of a message but I didn't picked it up. I passed it to stephie. It's even more stupid that when the person called, she was finding a girl name "MIRA" Okay fuck you. I don't know how many times I have to tell the person to stop disturbing me. Somemore already stated that I don't know her, and yet she still want to find MIRA. okay diao. Anyways, I don't receive messages from that person no more. Phew~ =.= It's frustrating can?

Anyhoos! One of the person message pissed me off. You know what she said? I was basically replying her message on the 2nd day, a long reply. In english, duh.

And she replied, " Prasaan kan cakap english who do you think you are? "

-_______________________-|||

I was so shock, my eyes were open so wide even my eyeballs almost fell off onto the ground. (Be realistic, eyeballs don't pop out not unless someone dig your eyeballs out but JUST IMAGINE LAH STUPID -_____-|| )

I wonder, if I don't speak english I speak what ah? Malay ah? I'm not a malay what. I'm a chinese what. If I reply her in chinese, she will understand what I'm saying meh?

Then people call me racist. =.= I'M NOT RACIST! *stares at fiq*

sakit hati ku.

Anyways I gotta go. I'm just updating my blog since I uploaded new song.

xoxo. toodles.

I thought you'll always be here..

2009-03-31T22:38:00.003+08:00

I have been going to classes like few hours earlier to do assignments, so I haven't been keeping in touch with a few people lately. Other than that, the weather makes me feel very cranky. I hate the heat. Sigh. Why is it getting hotter day by day? It ruins the mood to go out somehow. Not that I'm going out, you know.. go to class. Even like that I feel so damn lazy. It's like when I'm walking.. I'm so lazy that it feels like I'm dragging my feet. *drag drag drag..*

Anyways, I thought I should at least try to make an effort to blog today instead of making excuses "tomorrow lah tomorrow". The tomorrows never comes. So okay, I'll try to blog today but no high hopes, I can end it right now if I want to if I think I'm boring. But who knows, I might want to bore the hell out of you all today. :) myehehehe~

Wohkayz. I had a chat with my friend few weeks ago (I know, so long already ma hai~ ).

We were talking about "How I often drifted apart from people whom I was once very close to"

Come to think of it, I really notice that happens to me quite often and somehow I can't really figure it out. The only reason I can think of is.. perhaps I'm just not a good friend. You know, put all the blames on myself rather than blaming others for the wrong reasons. Then in the end, all you get is being hurt even more.

Though sometimes I can't help it to think that most of my bestfriends are fucked up(chillax, I'm saying how the friendship is fucked up, Don't be offended). We.. just don't work out. One of them was already a mistake when it began. I have no comment about the rest. You know what? Maybe I really weren't a good friend back then huh? I don't know. Fuck it lah. =.=

Well, to let you know why do I suddenly felt like talking about this is because I lost someone whom I was once very very close with( I wanted to talk alot but maybe not, afterall past isn't a nice topic to talk about). I'm actually in a very depressed mood and I'm so full of anger. I tried to tell myself "meis, you should wait for the explanation before bursting everything out" but unfortunately I CANNOT THINK THAT WAY AT ALL. I can't help but to think "FUCK EXPLANATION! I don't want it! feeling like being ditched twice is MORE THAN ENOUGH!"

At the same time, I really doubt I'll be given an explanation. Yet, I still hope for one. I really do.

I hate what I'm feeling right now. When I thought I could put my trust on this someone, cry on when there's no one to turn to, at least someone who'd still believe in me when no one will, or have someone whom you can be who you really are instead of pretending. Cause pretending is tiring.. and it hurts. I thought.. this person would never leave.

okay you know what. I had enough. I don't want to even think of it anymore. Read it if you want, or skip those emotional shits.

MOVING ON.

guess what? I actually gave up with this post and closed my blogger right away! but then I realised, I can't sleep! -_____-|||

and everyone's sleeping. T__________T

Anyhoos, I'm feeling okay-okay lah right now. I'm so sick of my moodswing. I get so moody easily but good thing is I get over it easily too. Well, for the time being. Moodswings come and go, suckkkksss man.

Let's talk about class. I am almost done with one my assignments. I'm left with 2 more assignments and 1 more assignment that is not given yet. I do not hope for it AT ALL.

Class has been good so far, though at times I isolated myself from them but these days has been goood. I didn't want to care so much about the problem that exist anymore. Infact, I think no one find that a problem but ME. wtf. and, I'm too tired to confrot already. I should let things be for now..

I lost my motivation to lose weight. Because food is heaven. It's paradise. Food is yummeh!

Just so you know! I've been eating and eating and eating. I had lunch with stephie today, then walked around and went for cakes and garlic bread. Went to class early, they wanted KFC! T_____________T Help. I'm near to being UNHEALTHY. oh wait.. I am already unhealthy! wtf. :P

You know what I want most right now? Motivate myself to find a job and earn some kachings! So I can repay whatever steph has been doing for me. :)

and buy gifts for my friends, I love seeing them smile. I used to buy gifts for friends but then.. I'm short of cash right now. As you grow up, you tend to get more interested in more expensive stuff. Nothing is ever enough. You just want more and more and more.

I need to stop. =.= I'm saving up now though! Just so I won't starve myself when my parents leave me for a month to australia to attend my cousins wedding. sniffs. T_______T I'm left at home... cause of college. sighs. class. nooo.. -____________-||||

urgh.

OH. Its April 1 now. April fool, shit I better keep that in my mind before I get fool when I go to class later. I hate it when people do that to me.

Meh~ It's almost 1a.m. I really wonder why am I still so wide awake. =.= I better try to get some sleep.

I need to stop being so lazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xoxo. toodles.

Take me back to days gone by

2009-03-27T14:16:00.002+08:00

I tried to blog yesterday night but I got distracted. I really wanted to blog, no excuses okay? Though I have to say.. the reason why I haven't been blogging is because I have nothing to blog about. EXCUSES MEIS EXCUSES!!!!!!! okay la, I was lazy. Basically, I was too lazy to blog, too lazy to go online. Too lazy to do anything.

Wohkayz. I'm supposed to be fasting every friday. Which means no beef, no chicken, no lamb. Unfortunately, I broke my fast again, today. I feel so sinful now. T_________T Yes again. I broke my fast on the first week. Reason is because I forgot! I keep forgetting therefore I keep breaking my fast. Ugh~

I should replace it on another day then. T__________T meh~

Yes. It's holiday and it's almost over. I had replacement class last wednesday and thursday. So much for holiday.

I miss..

Melbourne!

Yes Melbourne. Ahbutthen stay there too long also quite sien.

I had nothing better to do so I looked through all my pictures folders and I found all these pictures.

and come to think of it, I think I never blogged much about my 2007 holiday in melbourne with all my families and relatives.

I miss..

how delicious the food there is. So many yummy yummy food.

Beef steak~~~~~ *drools*

The place that I wanted to go to the most, Victoria Street. ( If I didn't remembered it wrongly )

It's a bargain place. You can buy things there as a souvenier, bargain prices and all. But that's not the reason why I wanted to go back there. The reason why I wanted to go back to that place again is because there is a stall or whatever you call it. Selling GOTHICS stuff. You know, those skulls necklaces and rings? They have lots of awesome accesories there. T______T I bought a skull ring there and it's so cool ya know. but fuck.. I lost it when I was having a fight with someone. *stares at that person*

I LOST MY BLARDY SKULL RING THAT I LOVE SO MUCH. Even till now whenever I think of it, I feel so sour. =.= wtf.

and it cost me alot okay. Blardy pricey somemore. Lost it. Gone! Forever! wtf wtf wtf!!

Ah well~~~

Anyhoos! I want to go holiday again and I can't wait for june when exam is over. I can't wait to go KL with stephie and my parents. Then meet my godparents. =D I can't wait to get out from this place. =.=

The only thing I'm SO NOT looking forward to is "giant drop". No thank you.

Wohkay. This it it. It's a short post. :P I got nothing to share. :D

Just so you know, I'm not dead. ;)

xoxo. Toodles!

where is luluuuuuu.. dodododoododod T____________T

If my heart breaks, It's gonna hurt so bad.

2009-03-18T13:35:00.004+08:00

I guess I should've known better,
to believe I'm a lucky chain, Oh.
I lent my heart out forever,
and finally learned each other's names.

I tell myself, "this time it's different."
No goodbyes, cause eyes can't bear to say it.
"I'll never survive on one that's coming",
If I stay, Ooh!

Just Walk Away! Ooh, and don't look back.
Cause if my heart breaks, It's gonna hurt so bad.
You know I'm strong, but I can't take that.
Before It's too late. Oh, just Walk Away!
(Walk, Walk, Walk Away) Ooh, just Walk Away!
(Walk, Walk, Walk) Away-aye-aye, yeah.

I really wish I could blame you, but I know
That it's no one's fault. No, No. No, No
Cinderella with no shoe, and
the prince that doesn't know he's lost.
He says that her face is so familiar, and
Goodbye with just the same old song.
But this time I will not surrender!
'Cause I'm gone, Ooh, yeah!

Ooh, I've got to let it go.
Start protecting my heart and soul.
Cause I don't think I'll survive a goodbye again.
Not again!

Credits : LyricsMania

Uploaded another song again. Familiar? High School Musical, Walk-away.

I have no new songs T________________T so yea. haha.

Anyways, Thanks for those who was concern about my previous post. I appreciated it, especially those who came and msn me (after such a long time), and yea, you made me smile. =)

I'm feeling alright at the moment, feelings come and go. you know. Today everything may seems fine, tomorrow might change. Doesn't always stay the same, yea. So I shouldn't be putting too much hope cause it'll be even more heartbreaking when things go bad. right? lolx.

I was told to confront superstar, so yea, I will. Someday, when I think I'm ready to. Thanks yap! ^^ Hang out when you guys are all free okayz. Will be waiting. ;D

My holiday will be starting real soon, I have no class this thursday because my lecturer is sick but hopefully the hangouts with my groupmates will be comfirmed today. ;)

Talking about today. I'm now all ready waiting for stephie to come and fetch me out for lunch.

I'm not so looking forward to class, cause you see.. today is the "dungu's" class.

You know whats dungu?? In english it's saying someone stupid or well, idiotic too I gez? but stupid sounds less harsh. I think I'll just take it as "stupid" then. haha.

why dungu you may ask? because during this lecturer's lesson, at the end of the last 15 minutes of the lesson. Our "champion" lecturer will ask us questions about the topics he had covered. IF we happened to be not able to answer it, then we are "dungu" =.= nabeh.

I was dungu on the first day. Trust me. After the class was over, the lecturer was pointing at me, "ah this one another dungu" T_______________________T kns loh.

but I was not "dungu" for the past few lessons. Lucky enough, the questions he asked me and I knew the answer. So I haven't been a dungu! but I don't know.. Maybe I'll become dungu again later. hahaha.

Haiya every wednesday also make me this nervous. :S OH. This management class, the rule. You know. If you don't know the answer to the question, you are required to pay $0.50 cents. and by the end of the semester, the money will go to charity. If I'm not mistaken.

be dungu also okay lah hor? :P NOH LAH. HAHA I don't want dungu! =.= Sounds so mean one. lolx ok lah, I know it wasn't meant to be taken seriously. Lolx

Alright then. I shall get prepared now.

*kisses* Toodles~

Don't wanna lose a friend, you gotta understand.

2009-03-15T22:20:00.006+08:00

I think I've lost the inspirations, the mood to blog. At times like this, I really want to just announced that I'm going on hiatus or closing down this blog of mine. Seriously. I do think that I have alot of things that I could actually blog about but then I choose not to. It's isn't just because that it's hard for me to find the right word to express my thoughts and how I felt. I don't know. I guess the only time I'll be pouring everything out is when I'm being really really pissed. I would be blogging in anger by then, It's a bad thing isn't it? haha. Stupid shiet. Then people would get offended. wtf.

*let out a long sigh*

I've been listening to this song. You know.. by M2M. Give a little love. I know, classic. Whatever lah.

Everytime I think I've had enough of you I take you back again
Not because I need a friend
Just because I can't pretend
Like the others do
You think you really serious
Clever and mysterious
Talking like you're dangerous
Talking like a fool.

Everyday there's someone else who wants to get with me I'm telling you
If you know what's good for you
Treat me like you used to do
Love me like before
Coz all I can do
is watch
and wonder
where the
boy I know has gone.
You say that you want me
well it's
time to
tell your friends
where they belong.

You can find it in your heart
Give a little love
Have a little faith
In the two of us
You can find it in your song
Give a little love
Have a little faith
In the two of us
Coz all I can do
is watch
and wonder
where the
boy I know has gone.

Little boy I don't want anything to do with you get on your knees
I'm the one you have to please
Not the one you want to be
I don't think you're cool
Coz soon you can only
watch and wonder
where the
girl you
knew has gone.
And then you will realise that
everything you
did to me
was wrong.

And do you really wanna lose a friend
You gotta understand or it has to end
Coz I don't wanna wait for you anymore
Can't take it anymore.

It's good to listen to old songs once in awhile. I think old songs are better and has more meaning to it. Don't have to agree with me though. You can go with your hiphop, r&b, rock&roll, top hits songs. Go ahead.

I don't know. I'm feeling emotional now. T_________T and this is bad.

You know, I really hate it when I think I feel something but then I ended up being convinced that my feelings were wrong. Especially from someone whom I really want to be in a good condition with, like you know the goodiefriend or bestfriend sort of thing? yea and so I tried hard to understand what that particular person is thinking. I don't know why, I just can't? It's like I really can't read his/her mind. No matter how much I tried, I just can't. I frigging can't!

How I hope that s/he could at least notice me for a bit or even make a move to do the talking instead of me having to start the conversation all the time. Sometimes when s/he's not talking at all, it made me felt really not right. Sometimes, I even noticed how s/he talks more with the rest. It's like as if s/he was forced to get along with me, you know?

Perhaps s/he could show that s/he does care, especially when I wasn't talking at all the whole time. It hurts that how s/he made me felt that I've already lost a place in his/her heart. I don't know. The effort of trying not to get into a fight is just so pointless.

There's so many times where I really felt like giving up and how I wished I could just shout at that person "DON'T YOU GEDDIT??! DON'T YOU GET A SINGLE FRIGGING WORD THAT I'M TRYING TO SAY! HELLLOWWW???"

Was I even speaking alien language then? Is my english that bad that people just don't get what I'm trying to say? wtf.

All I wanted is to see that we all get along with each other well just like how we all did before. I don't like the fact that we're drifting apart from each other. I don't wanna lose a friend, you gotta understand. I guess it's just the pride in me, I don't want to see changes and I can't accept changes. I want to keep what I used to have, hold onto what we once had. I. Just. Want. Everything. To. Stay. The. Same. I know this sounds ridiculuous, and I know I shouldn't expect everything to stay the same FOREVER because I know someday we'll be going our own way. But at least for now.

Yes, I clearly know that what I'm saying and feeling right now is just.. well not right. I just needed to typed it out. So don't you come telling me that it's wrong or whatever. Just because you ain't the type who cherished friends so much, doesn't mean I have to agree with the things you say. You don't have to agree with me either cause I never said that I was all right. Shut up! keep your thoughts to yourself and give me a hug. T____________T *sniffs*

I know I shouldn't whine so much about it anyway. I know there's someone whose in a much more painful condition than I am. Just so you know, I love you. =) I hope you'd feel better soon. *HuGx*

Anyhoos, there are times I really wished that superstar could, you know.. tell me how much she hates me and all. It's not easy to move on when everything seems so perfect. This is so cruel. She doesn't even give me a reason to move on at all and left me hanging on. Onto something that's so stupid. So stupid that even an idiot knows that when someone ignores you means they ain't gonna give a damn no matter how many phone calls you made, how many messages you sent, how frigging broken you felt. I guess even an idiot is so much more clever than I am. I know that moving on is the only choice, but sometimes, you create 'false-hope' okay? Give me a break.

Well, now you know what's bothering me :P

Actually that isn't everything YET. There's still so much to say but then I rather not. It wouldn't change a thing anyway by saying all those. heh. To post or not to post. See, I should just create a private blog. Or maybe get myself a diary. I don't know I can even be so bothered about wether I should be posting my feelings or not. Seriously. I don't understand why I'm always being so paranoid.

Moving on. Driving lessons is alright so far. I've driven out to gadong once and I ain't going to talk about it. The engine died a few time because I was so frigging nervous. Fug it, I pay to learn what. Engine die so what! Parking sucks though, because whatever the teacher told me. It's like going in one ear, and out the other ear. HEHEHEHEHE. Meh~~~ I've gotta do better than what I'm doing now. I wouldn't want to wait for months learning parking. Then license going to take forever liao lah like that.

I wanna hurry up and get over with this license thing already! I know I can do it! *hypnotise myself* wtf.

I'm done ranting and I've tried to blog a long post. This probably ain't long enough but I've tried. You really don't want to see me being too emotional, it isn't a nice thing. I'll whine like a baby, and the next thing you want to do is give me a slap and wake me up from all these worthless misery. HAHA. wtf wtf.

OH. I went to the tungku beach yesterday afternoon with stephie. Had a heart to heart talk. It was nice. She managed to make me climb those rocks that NO ONE could even persuade me to.

Just incase you never know this. I'm afraid of heights & deep water. That doesn't mean I'm scared to go swimming. It's just that when I see water, those deep one, I thought of the possibilities of "drowning". Yes, That means I'm afraid to die. OKAY? It's stupid, I know.

I was never afraid of heights though. Until the last time where stephie made me go to this "GIANT DROP" when we were having our holiday at KL, GENTING. I totally regretted it as soon as I sat on that chair but then It was too late to get off. I was totally swearing out so frigging loud when it started till it ended. It's like swearing every vulgar or foul languages you have in your mind. You know. @#$%^UI*&^%$#@#$%^&*&^%$#@#$%^&*. YES, I LOVE GIANT DROP, I am now, forever afraid of HEIGHTS. *shivers*

So yea. Tungku beach. Climb those frigging rocks. Had a hard time going down. That whatever plant that sticks to your pants. Didn't know it could prick through your skin. Ouch. The breeze was nice. Imagining someone you hated so much standing right infront of you. Kick that blardy person down the rocks into the water. *waves* (6) haha.

Alright. Enough. It's late already and I should get to bed now. I'm going to try to change my habit of sleeping late. I am so not happy that pimples are dropping by often these days. wtf. You get the idea.

and not to mention, get my frigging assignment done! lazy bum.

*kisses* Toodles~

I wished I knew the right word to say. Only if I knew how to make you laugh to ease your pain.

Dum di DUm dii Dum

2009-03-13T11:07:00.006+08:00

I almost forgot about blogging. Oppsies.

On the day I went to miri, all the dangles that was hanging on my phone fell off. I was so panic because I couldn't find one of the dangles that was given by my kai dy. T____T I managed to fixed it although I took off one or two because I think it was too heavy therefore it keeps on falling off these days. I don't want to lose any of it since it was all given by my lovely friends. So, I took it off and put it in my drawer. So much better than losing it. I did found the dangle that was given by kai dy. To be exact, my mom found it! It was in the other car that my brother was using to drive down to miri. T___________T *phew* ( If you're wondering why I call my things dangles, that's because It's dangling on my phone. wtf. haha )

Anyhoops! I'm not feeling well these days. Every morning I wake up with my throat being so sore and running nose making it hard for me to breathe. T_____T It was ever since the day I went to miri, and the dust in the new house makes me sneeze like mad! It's so frigging dusty. and Yes, A house in miri but I ain't going to talk about it. The main point is, I'm not feeling well! and all thanks to the dusty new house. jkjk. but I'm really not feeling well okay? Show a little care dude! wtf.

Moving on. Miri was alright. I didn't buy much stuff cause all were busy cleaning up the new house in miri. (It's rent, not bought). I did stuffed lots of food into my tummy though. HEHE. I was so bloated in that 2 days. I got nothing better to do so I eat loh. Not to mention, I bought 500G of butterscotch cookies! I know, that explains why I'm still sick till now right? LOL. I also bought 300G butterscotch cookies for my 3rd brother gf and 100G for stephie. She told me that she's not a fan of cookie, so 100G is enough. =.= Meow~

*thinking what else to blog*

Bought a top and a jean in miri.

This!

How random can this get.

I took that when I was at the lobby after my class is dismissed.

Speaking of class, I've got my accounting assigments already! OMG. I don't know how to stop myself from slacking but I really don't want to fail. SIGHS.

Okay. This is one crappy post.

erm. I made a new friend! I think hor, that's the only thing I can think of for now lah. Nothing interesting is happening to me these days and I'm so lazy to blog about my trip to miri and so on.

I guess, this is it then. I'm going to chat with suyin now. =D

*kisses* Toodles~

my trip to melbourne is cancelled T________________T but nevermind! There's still september. Melbourneeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ families~~~~~~~~~ wee~~~~

BAI BAI!

From the bottom of the blackest hole..

2009-03-07T14:23:00.003+08:00

HI!

I haven't been blogging/updating my blog these days. Obviously! Infact, I have nothing to blog about at the moment. So instead of having a short post all the time, I think I'll just wait for the time when I'm not so lazy and probably have things to talk about and so on!

ANYWAYS. Reasons why I have nothing to blog about. It's because I haven't been hanging out with friends since the last wednesday and that's probably it! Well, Not really. To be exact, I did went out yesterday but it was just to have dinner with wingz & stephie.

Ahemz. Let me think what else to say ah.

OH! I'm very bored now. Like si beh really extremely dead bored because I have nothing to do at all. I don't have class next monday because it's a public holiday. I can't wait to have class okay? I know, sounds stupid. Why the hell want to go to class when you can sleep at home and slack your ass off.

I DON'T KNOW. I just don't want to stay at home. NEVERMIND. If I had to go to class everyday also quite sien la hor? Okay lah. I'll take a good rest then. hahax. wtf.

em. I'm going down to miri tomorrow sunday and will be back next monday! :) Shoppingzzz!!!!!

I've just downloaded a game so I'm going to play it. SO TADA!!!

*kisses* Toodles!!!!!!!!

I rather waste my life pretending..

2009-03-04T18:37:00.002+08:00

"This is the first time I felt so tired, annoyed & frustrated when I'm out to the mall", Says Linda.

LOL.

You'd probably wonder what made her say those words. Even I felt so frustrated, especially when I'm talking and they kept on fooling around. =.= None of them have any idea what to do and where to go, wonderful! I almost had the urge to push them from the top floor to the bottom. (6)

Know what's the good thing this time? All of us get along really well. :D No more I-walk-my-way-you-walk-yours. So, I had fun.

Anyways. I had lunch at escapade with Edmund, Linda, Kelvin, Waverly, Tiong & Jeffrey. I forgot how long I haven't went to escapade. It's just get so sickening when you eat like I don't know, every sunday? I know I know, Nobody ask me to eat mah. T___________T

Moving on. I'm in love with this thing now.................

It's suppose to be this looked-like-mummy-doll thing but wavy sort of stuffed it's leg and hands and made it look like a.. ball. yea. like a round ball? or.. head? whatever. T_________T

I saw it when I went to the arcade at mall today and it's in blue colour! T_______T I think it needed 1,200 tickets? T_________T Who the hell so ki siao can go play everyday oh. Sniffs T_______T Sniffs.

BTW. I've already started my driving lessons and I'm almost dying. Just imagine, the next 8 hours? I'll be totally dead. T________T

If it wasn't because my parents wouldn't be home all the time or others were too busy working to be able to send me to class. I wouldn't even bother wanting to have a license but I have to. T____T So stephie can start bullying me by asking me to drive when she's lazy. I can already hear her saying to me "Meis!!!! faster get your license bah you you you!!" =.=

Yes. As you can see. I'm very frustrated. I'm so paranoid about going to driving lessons(though I've already went twice), I couldn't even sleep. T____T Haix. Sien lahz.

Bah. I've already spent like don't know many hours in this post le. Don't know why the words just wouldn't come out =.= Don't know lah. I go liao. I'm tired.

Nites.

*kisses* Toodles~

Shake it off, let it go..

2009-02-28T22:04:00.002+08:00

Since I couldn't sleep at all eventhough I'm like frigging tired, I'll try to blog then.

Wondering where have I been? Why aren't I blogging? =)

I've been busy trying to get a good sleep, getting ready for classes and during weekends, I spent my time with..

..Suyin @ DimSum restaurant next to thiamhock.

With all the outings and all, I'm extremely exhausted right now but I had my fun. =D

I'm already starting to feel empty. Today's the last day we get to hang out and she'll be going back to NZ tomorrow afternoon. Then I'll have to wait for another 9 months till we meet again. I'll miss you. T_____________T HuGx.

Received an advanced birthday present from Jie. =)

A Wallet from Charles&Keith.

Each for the both of us.

TQ! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

In exchange, I bought her..

A love bunny that she's crazy about now.

And,

Mickey Lens Casing. =D

So frigging cute lah. Hoped you liked it. *smoochs*

Other than being busy with classes and going out being seen in the mall like almost all the time(sucks). I've been struggling with my emotions. Not being able to find a solution to whatever-that-is-bothering-me, I decided to just leave it be and not to even think about what's going to happen next. The fact that I tried too hard not to think about it, I tried too hard, too hard that I didn't even know what I was thinking about anymore. It's all empty in my head. T_______T

Anyways, by giving myself and others some time. I am now very fine. Well, not really because there are still things that I couldn't figure it out but not that bothered lah. so yea. Whatever.

Moving on. Pictures Ahead. [Not arranged in order]

I had lunch with stephie & suyin today.

Lawa her eyes♥. ;) [Wasn't wearing blue lens in this picture]

Taken Yesterday @ Funwok.

Honey lemon with AloeVera♥ & Milktea Coffee.

@ Au Lait. ♥

I'm craving for food now. =.=

I've really been a pig these days whenever suyin is around. It's just so hard to say no when you see those yummy food. *drools*

Now that she's going back, I'm going to start my diet again. Jia you! Yee-Haw!

Anyways, because we've been going to the mall lately and totally made a hole in our wallet. T_______T So yea, since mall is like damn boring for the both of us already, we walked to harajuku to find one cute charbo. Si beh cute one loh her.

We went to find..

Winnie!!! ( If you want the picture, Tell me. =D)

Finally a nice picture taken together with her. ;)

She is so cute!!

Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥
Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥ Winnie ♥

Now that your name is all over the post. Are you touched now? :) With hearts somemore. ^^ Rofl.

I still don't see bby here and there in my post loh. LOL

♥ MeIs, yInz & WinnIe ♥

I think suyin had a great laugh today with winnie eh. *winkz~

You know, it's just so stupid that when you think that you're already over it but you tooked your ipod, listened to random songs playing. Suddenly the song that you're listening reminded you of someone. Someone that you tried so hard to not to think of anymore.

I felt that way few days ago when I was sitting alone in the class while waiting for the girls to come. My eyes were then filled with tears. I let out a long sigh. So stupid that it still hurts a lot. wtf.

This is one loaded with pictures post. lol.

I haven't been blogging for quite some time and there's nothing to blog about anyways. So the pictures will entertaint you then. =x

Till here then. I'm tired already. T_____________T

Last picture.

My FAVOURITE LOVE RABBIT! Suyin bought this for me too. Both of us had it hanging on our phone. It's so cute!

*kisses* Toodles!

2009-02-22T21:08:00.002+08:00

Changed the music again.

歌名: 管不著
演唱: Selina

一個姓名　遙遠又熟悉
朋友偶爾提起　居然還在意
也許只是天氣　讓我有點憂鬱
也許在我心底　你從來不曾真的離去

＊只是　你的一切我再也管不著
　不能管你喝了幾杯　心情好不好
　身上穿的什麼顏色　也不是我來挑
　親吻的味道　也變了

　你已把我忘掉
　是你的一切我再也管不著
　你不在我的懷抱　不稀罕我的好
　不能照顧你的人生　不能敲你的門
　如果說遺憾　我承認　但你已陌生＊

一段感情　只剩下話題
不敢思索過去　和你的甜蜜
那雙天真眼睛　有沒有人會珍惜
最愛的小點心　她會不會學著去料理

REPEAT＊

怎能把我忘掉
是你的一切我再也管不著
你不在我的懷抱　不稀罕我的好
不能照顧你的人生　不能敲你的門
如果說遺憾　我承認　但你已陌生

credits: chlyrics.net

----------------------------

I'll try to blog some other time, real soon. I hope. =)

I apologise to those who chatted with me starting from few days ago.
I know I've been acted maybe slightly weird lately or you may say.. grumpy.
Not happy? I don't know. I don't know why am I being so.. less lively these days
and so tired. I've been having sleepless night.
I couldn't even realised wether it's sarcasm or jokes when I was chatting.
It feels like my head is pretty empty these days. sighs.

Will be back soon till I sort out my emotions. I'm getting weaker and lazier too.
How bad can this go? Heh~

Wohkayz. I'm not dead yet. yea.

*kisses* Toodles.

A little too not over you..

2009-02-16T21:52:00.003+08:00

I had a really nice sleep today until I was woken up by the crying sound of my nephew(btw, it took me 5 minutes trying to complete this sentence, I don't know why that I'm having a hard time with my english today. Something just doesn't sound right to me =.=). My nephew was crying like crazy, almost sounded like he's screaming though. He continuously went "TAK MAHU, TAK MAHU, TAK MAHU BAHHHHH, TAK MAHUUUUU" for I don't-know-whatever-reason-that-is. It was madness I tell you, MADNESS. This used to happen almost every single day that I almost couldn't stand it since I have a habit of sleeping really late like almost 1 a.m in the morning therefore I needed a long nice sleep till the very next day right? Well, when my nephew starts crying and If I slept like really late, it would be hell for me on that day then. I just had to wait for him to stfu and go back to sleep. wtf. I wonder why did he started crying like mad again.. must be school. nyahahaha..

Which kids loves to wake up early in the morning for the sake of going to school. I'd rather sleep on my comfortable bed than waking up early in the morning wohkay? Sleep is heaven. zzz wtf. My mom told me that when I was a kid, I used to hide her keys after she sent me to school so that she can't go home. Yeap, me no like going to school. (wait, did I talked about this before? ah nvm!) See, My college is awesome now though I predicted that there'll be whole lots of assignment that's going to drown me in sorrows T_________T but heck! I can do it! I must! I can bahhhhhhh *following my nephew* BAHHHHH..

Hate it when he keeps ending everything with "BAH". Urgh. I don't want bah! DON'T LAH. Diu~
T______________T

ANYWAYS! I just came back from my law class half an hour ago or so. It was my first time attending law class today(I didn't went to college on my first day of class because the girls weren't going so yeah!) and it was hell boring. T_______T It's boring because I couldn't exactly catch what was the lecturer saying due to the fact that he has good english and uses DEEP english sometimes(Talks kinda fast too??). Which leads me having lots of *wtf wtf wtf* circling around my stupid head.wtf. Not to mention, he just keeps talking talking talking and only stop to take a breathe. He wouldn't even spare the 5 minutes left just now -____-|| and I just kept on eating candy to keep myself awake. T________T I can get diabetes anytime soon. wtf.

Moving on. I went out with suyin last friday and we had lunch at swensons! You know how diet always end up with failure? =.=

Anyways, I'm too lazy to think. so here goes pictures pictures since my post has been really dull lately, is it?

Me & Jie

Didn't look good in the rest of the pictures. So I ain't uploading it! HMPF. =x

Lunch at swensons(I'm craving, anyone?). We shared our food by the way. Afraid that we couldn't finish it.

I forgot wtf you called this already. I only remember it's something caeser salad. whatever. It was yummy though! =DDD

Something crayfish. HAHAHAHHA. Okay, Totally cannot remember much about friday.

Such terrible memory I have but nonetheless, it was delicious! ;DDD

I had a great day going out with her. *hugx* She also bought me 2 notebook from euroclassic for me to use in class. It's so cute. Thanks jie. ^^ Love ya.

Moving on to valentine.

As I walked out of my house gate and opened the car door, I saw a rose and a card on the front seat of the car.

My Valentine rose.

Hmm looked messy in this picture but whatever.

Rose on a valentine day. I never actually like flowers but having to receive it from someone you love, it's a nice feeling. ^^ When I saw the rose, it actually reminded me of the times when he was trying to get me back. He'd always read my blog, getting updated with my daily life. Especially when he reads my blog and knew that I was having sorethroat or craving for foods. He'd come to my house, prepared a bottle of water together with sorethroats candy. Each time he do this, he'll buy a rose and put it in my room. Why am I saying all these now? It's what I'm thinking of now and what the rose reminded me of and because I wanna say, I love you bby. =)

Still chubby as ever. =.= nyeh

You know how shock I was when I seen so many people getting into relationship this year. There are people whom you've been knowing and has been single for so long and suddenly you see them getting into a relationship in facebook. haha. It was really cool. That makes less lonely people in the world. Eventhough there are people whom get into relationship this year but ended up with a broken heart. It upsets me to see that especially when valentines was coming near.

But who says that you need a girl/guy to be with you during valentine? ;) Being with friends is also enjoyable eventhough there is a difference between friends and couple. You don't french kiss your friends! wtf. Anyways..

This is horrible. I forgot what I wanted to say. =( sniffs.

ANYWAYS. let's not torture my mind for now.

I never had a valentine alone with my boyfriend. For these 3 years and I'm serious. =D I spent my valentine with my guy and my jie and I'm not complaining at all. As a matter of fact, I think I like it that way. Valentine, it doesn't necessary has to be just you and your love what. Then how about those people who don't have any boy/girlfriends, that doesn't say that they can't have fun during valentine too. =)

You know ah.. I'm starting to forget what's my point already. wtf. and what's worse? Initially I was thinking to post about love triangle or scandal or somewhat like that but then it seems that I forgot quite alot about what I wanted to talk about. T_________T sucks.

I totally give up. I surrender *white flags*

Enjoy my half written post bah. wtf. LMAO.

p/s : I WANT SWENSONS! I WANT KOREAN FOOD! I AM FRIGGING HUNGRY!

*kisses* Toodles~

Wishing you a..

2009-02-14T00:05:00.004+08:00

Valentine Treasures

Valentine treasures are people who
have often crossed your mind,
family, friends and others, too,
who in your life have shined
the warmth of love or a spark of light
that makes you remember them;
no matter how long since you’ve actually met,
each one is a luminous gem
who gleams and glows in your memory,
bringing special pleasures,
and that’s why this Valentine comes to you:
You’re one of those sparkling treasures!

By Joanna Fuchs
credits ; poemsource & photobucket/scrapslive/ii300

[Updated]

How was everyone's valentine? Mine was pretty normal today but I did had a nice time being together. He gave me a rose and a card, I was expected to choose a present but I couldn't see anything I like. So yeap. Afterall, tomorrow's going to be our 3rd year Anniversary. I get to choose 2 pressies tomorrow *grins* That's IF I get to find what I like which I highly doubt about it. nyeh~

Well, as for him. I bought him a cup and it has lion on it. It somewhat says "Oh wow! Look how handsome you are" wtf Cheeky eh. HAHAH. I thought it kinda suit him so I bought it anyway. He sort of guessed what's inside cause few days ago he was complaining that he wants a cup from me. I guess he already have guessed what I was going to get him then. Oh well. =.= Boring. jkjk~

Yeap, nothing special on valentines this year, it's pretty normal like what I've already said. Oh, I didn't mention this. We had our dinner at takara with my brother and sister in law. ;) It was yummeh.

Oh. Right. It's valentine. The mall was so frigging jam this afternoon can? wtf. It's like as if the whole world is going to the mall. wtf. Qlap mall even looked so empty. wtf.

On the other side of the note, I'm feeling rather upset that I'm not able to go miri together with my sister inlaw and wangee.

I tried to ask my mom when she came back just now and her replies really pissed me off so badly

"go lah. You got leg, who can stop you?"

wohkay. wtf?

I really don't understand what my parents want from me sometimes. Yes yes, I'm the youngest and also the only girl at home. I practically get everything I want, EVERYTHING but freedom. Trust me.

It's fun being the only girl at home, it kinda turns you into some sort of spoiled brat yea? but seriously.. Not that I ain't enjoying what I'm having now but does she actually have to say that to me?

I go to church just like my parents wanted me to. When they needed me to go to someone's wedding on behalf of them, I did. When they needed me to go miri with them, I agreed. When they requested something from me, can I say no then? I can't, can I? They gave me and showered me with loves, all I can do is do whatever they want me to do.

I'm not complaining, really. I just felt hurted when my mom replied me that way. It hurts, I don't like how it feels right now.

You know how parents were never satisfied with whatever you do? Though not all parents are that way. You know during O'levels, I thought I was going to get 2 o's. Amazingly I didn't, I got 6o's.

It was a shock to me, but it wasn't to my parents.

All my mom replied me was..

"My friend's child had 8o's"

OKAY. SO? WTF THEN?

Same goes to when I had 3A's for my laksamana certificate's exam. The expected replies I got from her was..

"3A only? Then why the other one is C?"

I know my parents love me but the supports just isn't there. I don't know why I'm writting this out but I guess I really need to let it all out.

I'm feeling so upset now that I had this urge to run out from this house, Again. Yes, I've tried it before.

but I don't want to make my parents worried of me again just like how I used to do years back. But I'm really so upset now yet there's no one to talk to me. I'm so sick of all of these.

They wanted me to migrate to aust, and I have to. I just have to listen to everything that had to say. why? Cause I'm just and ONLY a little girl in their heart that has no rights to even voice out what she wants to say.

No rights.. at all.

I'm not going to church tomorrow and I don't give a fuck.

I thought being an eldest child was hard but I guess being the youngest and the only girl is as hard as being an eldest child. They just expect so much from you. TOO MUCH that I couldn't cope up with it.

Not even one fucking encouragement. Tell me, what reason do I have to stay in this life? Other than having things I want in my life but can they ever try to understand I'm out of highschool now. Not that I'm saying I'm old enough or mature enough to do things by my own.

I was just plainly asking nicely wether if I could go to miri with my sisinlaw tomorrow.. but why.

Sighs.

AND AS FOR YOU. Don't come blaming me for ignoring you as I'm seriously pissed off. If I wasn't told about anything I'd never know that you're so FREE to be out with your friends yet TOO busy to bring me out once.

As a matter of fact, I think.. I don't care anymore. I don't need you, I know you don't need me either. Same goes to your bunch of guys friends. I've tried and I've had enough feeling being leftout.

FYI, Can't keep promises? THEN NEVER PROMISE ME ANYTHING. It's so simple, why can't you do a simple thing?? wtf.

I'm going off now. Siens.

20 more minutes to go, and it'll be 15th of february.

So I wanna say..

HAPPY 3rd YEAR ANNIVERSARY BBY, Wingz!!

I loved you yesterday, I loved you today and I'll love you tomorrow.

I know there's a break between the 3 years of us being together but I also know we managed to get back to each other after all the things we've gone through.

Thanks for everything that you've given, eventhough at times you can really be such a pain in the arse! nevertheless, I still love you.

*HUGS*

Make this pain go away.

2009-02-11T17:12:00.002+08:00

Again, he never failed to make me cry.

Why do guys acted so different when they are trying to get you back, they talked like as if they wouldn't mind anything as long as they have you in their arms. Funny thing is, once they get you, everything changed again. They seems to mind everything that you do or say.

I'm really sick and tired of all these cause It's not like I didn't tried. I thought I was the one whose always picking fight, making our life miserable. Now I wanted things to be better so I tried to show that I really care.

but when I tried to care.. he replied "Let it pass". Leaving me not knowing what to do as I knew there must be something that I did to upset him but he wouldn't tell.

Maybe my post upsets him. Wouldn't it be nicer if he just say it out? Instead of leaving me guessing wtf went wrong. WTF WTF WTF?

Now he tells me I'm pissing him off. Great. How nice. I knew I shouldn't surrender in any arguements. Now it seems like I'm the one who couldn't live without him. Now the history fucking repeats itself again.

You know what? I'm starting to hate blog. If I have to care about every single of my words, trying to becarefull when I expressed my feelings. I MIGHT AS WELL USE A DIARY. Instead of updating my fucking sickening daily life like as if Im-so-fucking-happy. FUCK IT OKAY?

sick of everything.

Something doesn't feel right these days..

2009-02-11T13:48:00.006+08:00

I finally forced myself to wake up. Look at the lovely time, It's already almost 2p.m. Amazing that I slept till now yet I'm not actually tired. I just don't know why I don't feel like waking up at all. Maybe because I knew that there wouldn't be anything to do other than waiting for time to pass so that I could get ready for my class.

Speaking about class, it was.. I suppose it went well. ^^ I was being paranoid over something that I shouldn't again, how silly can I get. hais. Anyways, I'm glad things turn out right but I wouldn't wanna say that it's really great because everytime I say things like that, everything might turn out wrong the next day. So, I don't want that to happen but I'm glad to see the girls again. and of course the guys too. =x

Nothing much changed except for the increasing students in our class. We're all still sitting together though except for there's a slight change. Last semester I sat with waverly, and linda sat with edmund. This semester linda didn't want to sit with edmund due to some personal reasons so to avoid the girls from being upset, I decided to let linda to sit with waverly. Nope! I'm not sitting alone, I'm not going to let myself sit alone. =.= what a loner lei like that, pfft. So I dragged kelvin to sit with me. MUAHAHHA but sad thing is, now edmund is left alone. =.= He was sort of alone, cause in the end I decided again to connect wavy's table to ours. I felt weird without her. So, you can just imagine 4 of us sitting at the same table(connected table) and edmund was sitting infront by himself. =s sigh, I feel so guilty.(but I don't want to be alone T.T)

Moving on. Dad is fixing the pipe now, so I can only shower after an hour or so. That's fine, I still can get ready on time. Afterall, I'm planning to go class prolly an hour earlier. I think so. Maybe not.

I haven't had my lunch yet and I'm hungry. I think this kinda class timing is kinda good. hehe. Now, I can try to eat one meal per day. I so want to lose weight!! My pants is so tight right now so stop telling me that I am not fat okay?!!!! Stupid.

OH. No more firecrackers. Horray!

Suyin even told me that there's a news saying a young girl head was blown because they were playing with BIG firecrackers. See! Play lah play somemore. Okay lah, I feel sad for that young girl, but I seriously don't like firecrackers wohkay?

It's so blardy annoying can? Hari raya play firecrackers, Christmas play firecrackers, New year play firecrackers, CHINESE new year play again firecrackers, Chap goh meh / End of chinese new year ALSO PLAY FIRECRACKERS. wtf!

END OF YOUR LIFE OR END OF THE WORLD, I PLAY FIRECRACKERS FOR YOU LAH OKAY??? TO CELEBRATE DEATH. Happy that you finally are going to leave this world OR we all going to die!!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. fuck you. *mumbles mumbles wtf wtf*

hais. I'm spoiling your mood to celebrate hor? Such a joy spoiler! =p but you're spoiling my mood to sleep! That's rude! sheesh.

I'm not saying everyone cannot play firecrackers lah but of course don't be like those sakai neighbour of mine who played from 8pm to 11pm nonstop. So rich like burning their money for all these stupid stuff. I don't even know what's so nice with firecrackers. Yes, it's amusing seeing colours in the air but all over again & again, like retards with the eyes big big, mouth big big, and ur head looking up the sky. wtf???? Your neck not tired, my heart is tired from having to stop beating each time you fire one firecracker okay? I don't feel good!

Enough about firecrackers rants. Sien.

You know, I have a friend who told me he was really busy so that's why he didn't have time to find me at all. I believed. =) but now I'm beginning to wonder, "will he really find me?". How can a person be so busy until now? and without any explanation somemore so don't expect me not to misunderstood loh hor?(MSN also never find, whatever lah)

You see, Alot of my friends made me felt really left out, including those whose very close to me too. I know clearly that we all have our own group of friends but I can't help myself from not feeling left out. So, do I really have to take all these blame then?

It kinda upsets me whenever I felt like this. I don't like to, but it's not like I made myself this so-not-fun-to-be-with. At some point, I really want to impress people but I didn't cause that's not me. Maybe that's why I'm seriously not a fun person to be with. I'm dull and boring. Nice. Yee-haw!! whatever.

AH NEVERMIND LAH. DON'T WANT TO THINK LIAO LAH. BLOG LIAO GOT WHAT USE?

Don't want to say le. Sien~

I might as well rely everything on myself now. fuh~ Don't find then don't loh~ hais.

I want to go sleep again! Bored!!!!

*kisses* toodles~

2009-02-09T23:19:00.003+08:00

So rich hor the people now? The firecrackers ain't stopping yet. Nah ah~ No way.

They just had to keep firing more and more. NON STOP.

It's 11PM ALREADY LAH. WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?

BITCH!!!!!!!!!!

Life keeps getting in the way..

2009-02-09T20:33:00.007+08:00

It's a pretty exhausting day today but it's better than having to stay at home doing nothing again. I was really bored at home yesterday. I spent the rest of my day at home with nothing better to do but bloghopping and reading my old mails that I've once received. As if I didn't felt bored enough that even the net was getting on my nerve. Most of the page wouldn't load and some took ages to load one frigging page.. making my life miserable by the seconds.

Okay, I'm really annoyed. I hate firecrackers, I repeat, I HATE. Why? cause there are plenty of muthafuckas out there who wouldn't stop with the firecrackers. Wtf, fire 5-10 not enough is it? You know they keep playing nonstop here, I really can't stand it anymore. The sound of the firecrackers is really annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!! and it's making me unable to blog properly. *pull hairs* I really have this urge to get the firecrackers and stuffed it into their mouths. NAH! _|_

..CHAO CI BAI. Here comes another one! Fucking idiots!

argh.

......gotta calm down.

ANYWAYS. when I was bloghopping yesterday, as usual I would always go to this one person site. I don't really like her and well yea, she's the girl I mentioned in my blog once about me and her being in the same law class. I don't give a damn if she would stumbled upon my blog and read what I've wrote. I never said I was a goodie goodie girl anyway, so why should I pretend that I'm so nice? (but deep down I'm really nice wokay?? 0=D IF only you knew me well ;D ). Afterall, I doubted she like me anyway. hehehe.

Moving on. Her blog was spammed few days ago and I thought everything was over. No more fun =( but I was surprised, she was spammed, again by some other group of people =s. I was beginning to wonder.. "wow... so many people disliked her one ah?" at that time, I felt sad for her but at the same time I thought she deserves it. I don't know why, don't ask me. It's just maybe because she wasn't a friend of mine? maybe.. or maybe I'm just being prejudice. =p

But, go think about it la. If you've done nothing wrong, I supposed people won't go hating you for no reasons right? Although, they are really people out there who have nothing better to do and spread horrible rumours about you. That I totally understand how it feels, cause I always have rumours spreading about me. It hurts, but there really isn't much you can do but as long as you have your friends to stand by you and believed you. I'm not anyone to judge that if she has done anything wrong, afterall I've never known her personally and I don't know the real story eventhough I might have heard from a friend of mine. Anyhow, we all know there's always two side of the stories, depending on which story that you choose to believe.

Before I went to bed yesterday night, I clicked on her site again to see if there's any reply from her. Sadly, there isn't but just a post that sounds a little weee bit threatening. It was written in chinese, don't expect me to translate here cause I don't really know how to translate it to english. It's no big deal anyway, she was just probably trying to pass a message that says something like "don't try to mess with me" but hey, I can be wrong. =)

When I woke up this morning, out of curiousity again I clicked on her blog. haha. I sounded so kaypoh hor? This time I was really expecting at least a reply from her in her tagboard. Again, there's none and I even found out she already deleted the post that I said it sounded a little weee bit threatening. It was really a disappointment. Not only she didn't give a reply to the spammers, she even deleted the post. All I have in my mind is "An act of a coward".

Not to be mean but seriously, she couldn't even stand up for her own. Why have to be like that? I came home an hour ago, and checked on her blog once again. This time, her same friends defended her in the tagboard. It really kept me wondering why she's always keeping quiet. Hmm, maybe she thinks that that's much more mature, but doesn't that show her friends are immature then? for defending her in the tagboard. lol. So yea, I was really expecting her to stand up for herself la eventhough I don't like her at all. Ah well~ what to do hor? I really very curious why she didn't fight back loh. haha.

...she even blog a post that she thought it was sarcastic but I couldn't even sense any sarcasmn in it. Pretty saddening cause this is the 2nd post where she attempted to be sarcastic but it was really a total failure. *phuh*

Dropping this topic off. I'm beginning to have headaches. Sien~

Hmm, Though I've said that you can't do anything much with rumours doesn't mean that I am fine with people spreading rumours about me. I had too much and I had enough. Eventhough I know clearly that I can do nothing to stop people from talking bad about me but I don't want to hear any of it. Keep it to yourself and keep your mouth shut. I know what's going on out there, I don't need you to remind me about it. I won't ask you to stand in my shoe and I doubt those of you who disliked me would think about how I feel cause if it was the other way round, I wouldn't care how you felt either. Of course, I know my fucking limits. but really, enough about it at the moment. Everyone's need a break right? So, give me a break. I'd appreciate it so much.

Moving on. Moving on.

AHEM. I skipped my first day of class today. HAHHAHAHAA. cause 2 of my girlfriends aren't going and only the two guys are. so I decided not to and afterall, I'm LAZY.

and also, It's been a long time since I went out with suyin. I finally fixed things up with her so we're now slowly building our trust and I really hoped things would work out the right way.

I sort of miss her now. ^^ and congrats for passing your driving test! You're going to get your driving license soon!!!!

Speaking about driving, I don't know about my law result yet. Neither have I started with my driving lessons cause I am so lazy and afraid. That explains everything. Hehehe.

Hmm, Few days ago steph made me buy a story book. Guess what was it?

HANNAH MONTANA.

Ha-Ha-Ha. I was supposed to pay but then she decided she's going to pay for it instead. So that I would feel guilty if I don't read it. I suppose that was sort of a threat then? aha, Just Kidding.

You might be wondering why the hell buy Hannah Montana book. Well, that's because I was expected to improve my english and she wanted me to start with an easy book first. I finished the book already anyway. I think it's alright because I actually finished Hannah Montana whole seasons, including 1 & 2 so whenever I read the book, I can imagine the way they speak and all. So it sort of made my giggle a little bit. Lmao.

I don't know why people don't like Miley cyrus but I'm really fine with her except for her latest album. I think she's fine, and Hannah Montana is funny what. =s

Alrighty, I've gotta go and get some rest.

*kisses* Toodles!

p/s : I want a job. T.T $$$$$$$$$$$$$$

We might find a place in this world someday..

2009-02-06T21:57:00.002+08:00

You have no idea how bloated I am right now. After few hours passed, Still bloated as ever. -.-

I couldn't stop eating since this morning at miri until I was on the way back home. It's horrible I tell you, I came home and I already felt like puking. You wanna know what did I stuffed into my mouth? Well, let me recall what I had yea.

1) Meegoreng as my breakfast.
2) This fried thingie that has mushroom in it.
3) Buns, that has sausage in it.
4) Famous Amos Butterscotch Cookie
5) Sushi. *pukes*
6) Cucur Pisang
7) 2 piece of tofu.
8) Coconut Water.
9) Last, a piece of fattening donut that has thick chocolate topping on it.

Tsk tsk tsk. So much for being on diet meis. You are meant to be fat, for the rest of your life!!!! Sniffs~~

OKAY so I am back, from my miri trip. I stayed at a chalet! =D (yes steph, stop laughing, I didnt meant to spell it wrongly. =.=) It looks like a golf course to me somehow, and the place is hugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..

Other than chalet, there's also house. Like hotel house. It's really cool, but they didnt choose that. Instead, they chose chalet. A wooden house. Nice. =.= Not bad lah, I think. I'm just super fussy about toilets. It has to be BIG. I don't like small squeezy toilets. So urgh.

The room has 2 queen size bed.

Oh, I didnt mention this. I went to miri with my parents, my 3rd brother and his girlfriend. =D

The lamp. DUH obviously. HAHAHA

okay lah, it's really a nice place to stay althought its very far from shopping places. Too bad I didn't remember the name of the place. All I knew that it's close to the airport. hahahah. wth~

So exhausted from the trip, yet still can vain. Really hopeless. =x

Guess who I brought to miri with me? *grins*

HIPPIE!!!!

I was sort of upset cause I couldn't bring maribell with me. She's too big. =.= Initially I was thinking of bringing two but hais.. cannot. T.T So I had hippie with me to keep me accompany at night when I'm sleeping. =s

I love hippie. ^^

Moving on. I didn't really enjoy shopping but at least this time I did managed to force myself to buy some tees. I didn't try it on. I just pick those I like and I think it fits then I go ahead and pay. LOL. Dont ask what the hell am I thinking. I really don't like to shop alone, it's like I have phobia talking to strangers or maybe I cared too much about how people may think of me.

Like apperance wise? Yea. cause years back when I was in chunghwa, I was really this fugly girl whom nobody like at all. You know all the insults, they really hit me so hard on my face that I couldn't help myself not feeling paranoid.

BUT, a shop lady made my day today after being so pissed off about those salesman talking to my mother about their products. The shop lady was asking if I was mixed and told me that my face has a nice shape. C'mon, if someone told you that you look good, wouldn't it make you smile a little at least? It really did made my day. You cannot imagine how piss off I am okay. I really dont like those salesperson. I felt like strangling them. Hais.

Forget about that. Other than shopping for clothes. I bought a few things..

A new Pencil Case. My previous one is already all dirty.

It looks nice anyway, so I bought it without thinking twice.. (at that time I was kinda annoyed waiting for my mom so long. lol )

A pair of earing.

I have no idea why I bought this earing cause it's going wasted anyway. It so happened that my mom bought me a pair of gold earing because I have been asking her for it. Well, that's because I was tired of putting on earings everytime I go out and that I was afraid the hole might close. So I requested a gold earing so that I dont have to take it out and put it back again & again. Nvm lah. I really like the earing. =D It has hearts hanging on it. LOL. I couldn't take a picture of it cause the lady already helped me to put on. =P Now I dont have to take it out or worry that my ear hole might close. =P muahahaha.

Nail's stuff. I bought.. each style that's only enough for 5 fingers. How silly can I get? HAIYA MEIS! IDIOT LAH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

The last thing I bought

Bra straps. It looks cute. HAHA I bought it for fun. I was bored waiting so I sort off bought things that I really liked. I bought all these from one shop, and the lady was the one who said I look good. *blush* =p I suka prasaan, behsong??? =x

I really am too tired to think about what I did at miri but I can say that it was really not bad this time. and I had a nice time talking to giorgie jie. Cause most of the time I tried to talk but I really don't know what to say. You see, I am very bad at making topic. I'm getting less talkative now, and I have no idea why. lol.

I'm ending this blog with a picture..

LOVE.

Meis sincerely loves you all deep down in her heart.

*kisses* Toodles and goodnight. =)

It's a long long way to happy..

2009-02-05T12:16:00.004+08:00

I'm seriously going crazy with my net. How am I suppose to do things when so many sites wouldn't load huh? argh!! Making my life so miserable whenever I wanted to surf for stuffs. fuck you!!!!!!!!
Ah see, great. Now My Bimbo wouldn't load. NICE. THANK YOU. but I hate you,net! And yes, my blog, I'm yawning each time I read my post. It's bo-ring! I dont understand how people can post and update their life almost every single day with the same thing all over again & again. You don't get bored one meh? Jin sien lei. I was blog hopping the other day and no one's even updating their blog. T.T I'm left with a sucky net and nothing to read on the net. *wipe off tears* DRAMA!!!!!!! Whatever. Okay lah. I don't want to talk so much about the random bloggers that I've read lah okay. My tagboard has been free from spammers for far too long, hehehe, Let's leave it that way ya. No spammers(Though, was it few weeks ago, I've been complaining about having no spammers in my tagboard cause I was really frigging bored. This is what you call, Suka cari pasal. =x). HEHEHEHEHE 0=) Except for one blog that I've read never failed to make me smirk a little. I just don't understand why she's trying to impress a guy whom obviously wouldn't give a damn about her. Was he even impressed? =.= Cheh.

Moving on, I, Meis am going down to miri today and I'm going to overnight there with my family. Hmm.. I'm not excited at all. Nyeh. Why am I not excited? Why why why! Oh why! When I actually can just buy anything I want there but why aren't I excited. Majal lah you meis! Becauseeeeeeeeeeeeeee, My sister in law has decided not to go, thanks to the news saying that it's going to flood between 4-7. She is worried that no ones going to help her mother if there happens to be floods. Woohkay. As for stephie, she is busy, like really so busy now loh. She's busy with her UBD and I think her tuition has already started. T.T Hais. *pat pat myself* What to do meis. haha. I dont really have much girls friends here, who wants to be my girl friends? Come lah. I dont bite one okay? Dont listen to the rumours out there, deep down inside me I'm actually a very nice nice girl. True one bah. xD LOL. Okay enough about that.

I haven't pack the stuff I should be bringing yet. You know lah, girls mah. Sure alot of things to bring one. I need to bring my toner, my facial wash, my pimple cream.. eh wtf did I tell you these anyways? Don't be such a kaypoh. jkjkjk. Yes pimple cream. I have pimple my dear friends and nobody loves having pimples!!!!!!! I don't know why, the pimples just loves me so much. Sigh. I really envy those girls with really nice and smooth face. No kidding, who doesn't want a nice smooth face anyway? Of course, most girls uses heavy makesup and they're actually nothing better without their makes up anyway. Not really lah, I think. You need to have a pretttyy face also right? duh. =.= I do lah, I do use makeups okay? Not all the time. Just on special ocassion. Double duh! If not you go to people wedding with your dead face meh? -.- but I remember last year I was really addicted to using makeup. It was horrible I tell you. without makeup, I don't even want to get out from the house. Pretty sad... yea... haha! NOH LAH. Anyways, when class started, I managed to slowly get rid of that habit of mine. I realised, what lah.. No make up also pretty what. HAHAHAHHAHAHHA... I know, you want to slap me liao. Sorry lah, I woke up in a hyper mood today bah. At least I'm trying hard to try and post a long blog today for you all before I go to miri right? C'mon lah you all blardy readers who hide behind the screen never even blardy tag my tagboard. Do me a favour lah. TAG PLEASE OKAY? Fine lah, if it really needs to be spammers. I can't do anything what right? but if can, Don't lah. I'm not ready for spammers yet. My heart damn fragile now. Right meis, right. lmao.

Yokay enough about those. Other than envy people who have nice face, I envy people who can slimmed down so fast. Like my brother's gf. T.T Diet is so tiring and I had no idea how I did it few years back. Maybe because I was really stressed during highschool. Sounds true though. I might sound like I'm always depressed in my blog but actually nothing is really bothering me badly. I think my life is going on too smooth liao. I dont know if I ever mentioned about this in my blog but I know his name has been mentioned once or twice. I am back with my crazy ex-boyfriend and I know most of you are tired of going on and say "AGAIN???!!!" Chillax lah. Sorry loh. Bo pien mah. T.T Don't like that loh. hahah. That's not the point. The point is because I am with him again, therefore I'll be going to his house most of the time right? Because of that, I had to see his sister. =s wait, before you think I'm going to say bad things again. you better stfu. I am not, okay? I was going to say.. I dont know what to do. I am really not the type of person who could put down my hatred, forgive nor forget that easily. Though I have already received her apologies message, be it wether it's sincere or not. Its not a problem. Problem is, I dont know how to be nice after all the things that had happen, and of course that includes the things she said about me in the past. So, tell me. How to be nice? I hate to keep on having to avoid her like as if she's invisible, sort of that way. So yea, sucks. Okay I'm dropping this topic for now. I'll figure out how to deal with this, hopefully. =x

Gosh.. I'm suppose to be showering now. Forget that. -.-

I found a picture, that looks stupid to me. I forgot to post it the other day cause I was frigging lazy.

There! but I kinda like it though. Candid. HAHAHAH! I was chatting and surfing when that crazy guy took his mobile phone and snap a picture of me. He thought I looked like some sort of.. like the buddha thing? the guan yin ah? Aiya whatever lah. I also dont understand what he is saying anyway. And yeap, that's my laptop. Pink Vaio. I never bring it out and right its so frigging common loh. My last semester class, there's a guy who had the same exact vaio like mine, PINK. Diao hai.

Hows everybody CNY anyway? I have a big mouth, so half of my angpow's going to go in the bank. DAMMIT! I knew I should just shut my big mouth and just take the blardy pocket money. Why pandai pandai go say no need pocket money, enough from angpow already? WHY! T.T Hais~ I'm feeling all rich and now I feel.. so poor. =x haha wtf.

I have lost my inspiration. HAHAHAHHA. Okay. I don't want to continue liao. I'll be random some other time okay? I want to go and chat with my love and get ready.

*kisses* Toodles!

P/s: If you can't act like one, then don't try to be one. =) I just wish theres some type of magic spell that could stop people acting like a total loser. Wannabes~ pfft.

2009-02-03T19:57:00.002+08:00

I just got tagged by Elena Mei =)

Nothing better to do.. here we go.

1) Where and when was your last kiss?

- are you serious? just now afternoon. =.=

2) What color underwear/boxers/thong wearing now?

- ummm.. pink. =x

3) What are you listening to right now?

- 范玮琪-可不可以不勇敢

4) Whats your favorite number?

- 7!

5) What was the last thing you ate?

- Seafood pancake, Gimbap & Bbq Beef.

6) When was the last time you smiled?

- LOL. now.

7) How is the weather right now?

- Dont like how it keep raining every night. Sigh.

8 ) Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

- LV. I think.

9) What is your worst habit?

- erm.. I cant think of it now.

10) Do you drink?

- drink what? be specific lah. If you're saying alcohol, then its once in a blue moon.

11) Do you smoke?

- Nope~

12) When was the last time, if you ever blacked out?

- Dont think it ever happen.

13.) Girlfriend/Boyfriend?

- huh? wtf.

14) Your Hair color?

- Black

15) Eye Color?

- Brown

16) Do you wear contacts?

- yeap. baby aqua [and why freshlook, not freshkon, mei?=.=]

17) Favorite day?

- HoliDAY. HAHA

18) Favorite Month?

- er.. no have la.

19) Have you ever cried for no reason?

- I cry when I feel down. -.-

20) What was the last movie you watched?

- Foxy Lady

21) Favorite Day of the Year?

- .....really sien ah this type of question. cb~

22) Are you too shy to ask someone out?

- No lah!..wth~

23) Last advice you received?

- Dont know. Whatever. Cannot remember.

24) What was the highlight of your weekend?

- Quiet?

25) Chocolate or Vanilla?

- Chocolate~

26) What is the last text message you received?

- "sorry for the late reply da di da di da.."

27) What is the last text message sent?

- "haha its okay sory for the late reply too da di da di da..."

28) Who was the last person you call?

- Bby~

29) What was the last sports game you watched?

- None.

30) When was the last time you slept in someone else’s bed?

- Slept in no one's bed.

31) Favorite movies?

- er.... Wild Child.

32) Favorite football Team?

- Nada.

33) What were you doing before this?

- SHOWERING. KAYPOH SO MUCH LAH! wth tag is this.

34) Any pets?

- 4 dogs.

35) Favorite Drink?

- Sour Drinks.

36) Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?

- BUTTER.

37) Dogs or cats?

- Puppies and kittens? =\

38) Favorite flower?

- Anything.

39) When was the last time you got in trouble?

- Cannot remember liao.

40) Have you ever loved someone?

- duh. okay loh this tag is starting to piss me off now.

41) Who would you like to see right now?

- ...........................

42) Are you still friends with people from kindergarten?

- DONT KNOW LAH.

43) Have u ever fired a gun?

- You'll be the first person I'd shoot if I had a gun.

44) Do you like to travel by plane?

- No I do not like to travel by plane.

45) What websites do you go to frequently,besides Facebook?

- Missbimbo.com & random bloggers.

46) If you could be with anybody right now who would it be?

- ..............my love. OKAY?

47) How many pillows do you sleep with?

- 2, together with lots of dolls that was given by friends.

48) Are you missing someone?

- yea.

49) How was your day?

- Calm.

50) 8 People To Tag

- Steph, ManZy, Changmin, Yap, HeavnBoy, LuLu, Maria, Winnie. OKAY DONE

I was thinking of blogging but the tag kinda annoys me so I am now not in the mood to blog about anything.

Toooodles!

with every step together, we just keep on getting better..

2009-02-03T12:58:00.002+08:00

I knew what I was feeling yesterday night was just a temporary thing. It wouldnt last long. I knew really well with me being me all the time, I would eventually get over with what Im feeling all the time. Im almost at the edge of wanting to give up, forget everything and move on. Who knows by then I wont be in brunei already, right? Friends come and go, I've already known it from the start. Now I really feel like banging my head, you know? I really dont like it when I am down and all sad cause whenever I'm like that right, I tend to do or say things without thinking twice. This end up with feeling "wtf did I say tat!". You see, I wasnt really feeling well yesterday night right, and because I was really upset. I went on friendster and sent her a friendster message. Now that I think of it, I really shouldnt have sent her that friendster message. Why should I? Why the hell did I even sent it anyway? *bang frigging hard on the wall*

Anyways, I am not that sick anymore, just sorethroat. I'm probably going out for lunch later, and its going to be a late lunch. =x My class is in less than a week and most of my classes would be at night. I really dont have the mood to go class at night, at night is like a time where I'm already all sleepy lah! hais sien. Kay lah~ I'm going to go and get ready now.

*kisses* toodles~

Take my hand..

2009-02-02T20:09:00.003+08:00

Changed the music : Can I have a dance.

[Gabriella]
Take my hand, take a breath
Pull me close and take one step
Keep your eyes locked on mine,
And let the music be your guide.

[Troy, Gabriella]
Won't you promise me (now won't you promise me, that you'll never forget)
We'll keep dancing (to keep dancing) wherever we go next

(chorus)
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance

[Troy]
Take my hand, I'll take the lead
And every turn will be safe with me
Don't be afraid, afraid to fall
You know I'll catch you through it all

[Troy, Gabriella]
And you can't keep us apart (even a thousand miles, can't keep us apart)
'Cause my heart is (cause my heart is) wherever you are

(chorus)
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance

[Gabriella And Troy]
Oh no mountains too high enough, oceans too wide
'Cause together or not, our dance won't stop
Let it rain, let it pour
What we have is worth fighting for
You know I believe, that we were meant to be

(chorus)
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you (like you)
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do (way we do)
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance

Can I have this dance
Can I have this dance

credits : lyricsmania

------------------

I didnt get to take pictures with my friend today because after lunch, and not long after that he already sent me home. I was feeling really sick.

and I was told that the tag wasnt complete. cause after 5 is 6, not 8. =.= but Im too lazy to edit it cause I really dont like doing tags that has to do with random things about me. Really cannot think one. So I'll leave it be. and those whom I tag, you want to do, you do. Dont want to do, then dont. I just randomly tag anyways. =)

-------------------

Just updating.

*kisses* toodles~

If only my dreams were real..

2009-02-02T12:14:00.002+08:00

I had a terrible night yesterday, couldnt sleep well at all. Thanks to the flu and sorethroat. sigh.

and Im feeling kinda down and blurr when I woke up. I had a dream.. and it was about her. I really thought it was real, ya know. but when I woke up, I slowly realised it was just.. a dream. A stupid muthaf-ing dream, again.

Being left without any reasons didnt felt good at all. At least each time my friend left me is because of arguements. and we know, we'll be alright again after some time. but this time, I knew it perfectly well that things aint going to work out that way. No arguments, No conflicts, nothing at all. I dont like what Im feeling now. I have this urge inside of me, I felt like just go to MD and dig her out. At least, a reason. Be it wether it would hurt so bad or not. Its so much way better than being left hanging on.

Anyways, I just feel like blogging. cause I dont know who to talk to now. Ive gotta go and get ready. Im going out for lunch today with a friend of mine. I'll be back. =)

Toodles.

My life's a fantasy that you're not smart enough to even dream

2009-01-31T11:52:00.004+08:00

This picture was taken on the 2nd day of Chinese New year but aint going through detail of it.

anyways, Ive been tagged by Manzy. So lets finish up the tag first before I get too lazy again.

Directions:Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose five people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don’t forget to leave a comment (“You’re tagged!”), and to read your blog, you can’t tag a person who tagged you. Since you can’t tag me, let me know when you’ve posted your blog, so I can see your weirdness.

1. I'm easily annoyed.

2. I like and dislike people for no reasons. (Get mad for no reasons too xp)

3. I dislike maths! Anything that has numbers in it makes my head spin. =.=

4. I want a porsche car in the future. (for now, I might change my mind someday =x)

5. I think me ish fat.. T.T I want to lose weight ah!!!!

8. My brain so blank now. Mmm.. I have 3 big brothers! Im the youngest and the only daughter. Therefore, Im a princessssss =D

9. I'm a cry baby. Just tell me you accidentally crashed a dog while you're on the phone with me, Ill start crying. *sniffs*

10. I dont really like doing tags. =.= what? I have no idea what to say already lei.

11. I love singing. =)

12. Bad habits. Once I started watching series, I wont be able to stop. So I always end up with lots of pimples.

13. I'm feeling kinda sick now. :(

14. Most of the time, I could easily guessed whats on people's mind and the reasons to their actions. but sometimes, I could be totally wrong.

15. I love gifts. I loveee~~ who doesnt? sheesh~

16. hmm.. I consider myself.. one lucky girl. I love my friends. =)

------------------ owhkayyy time's up.

I tag,

ComyDi
HevnBoyz
Lulu
RainMinz
Stephie

------------------------

The reason of why I havent been blogging lately is because Ive been busy watching my series.
I just finished a series called "Last one standing" few days ago, now Im watching a korean series "Foxy Lady"

My mom had a bag full of hong kong and korean series, cause I had nothing better to do so I picked some of 'em and watched it.

Other than watching series, I just had my law test last thursday. I dont know wether I would get a pass but it really wasnt hard at all. I just had a bad day.

The night before my law test, I was watching series till late night. Therefore I woke up with a very bad headache. And because my sisinlaw wanted to bring me for lunch, I had to rushed to get ready within less than 15 minutes? or more. but main point is, I dont like to rush. =.= To make thing even worse, I had my pms on that day. So everything seems to be not going on the right track. Hais. Sien~

----------------------

2nd day of Chinese New Year was alright. At first I went to my sisinlaw's parent's house. Had my lunch there and then together we watched a korean series "Couple or Trouble". It's really funny. I think Im going to find the DVD when I go out. And when I meant "we", we as in, me, wingz, my sisinlaw, my brother and wangee, (sort of related but extremely far.)

About 4pm, we went to my aunt house for dinner and then they all played cards. I dont gamble. :P Id rather keep the money and buy stuffs I want, instead of loosing it in the end. =.=

Yeap, thats about it.

Me & My Sisinlaw

I&Cuzzy. I was really tired at that time already. -.-

Okay! Gottahhhh go! I wanna finish up my series

*kisses* Toodles!

I make my own rules..

2009-01-26T22:21:00.002+08:00

Firstly,

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR MY DEAR FELLOW READERS! May this year bring you lots of wealth, good health & prosperity always! Thank you for those lovely messages I have received this morning when I woke up, especially from my love, my sister and my lovely friends. ^^ I hoped all of you had a great day today visiting relatives and collecting lots of red packets. Feeling all rich now huh? :P lol~

I had a nice calming day today. Mom didnt woke me up to go to church so I get to sleep a little bit longer. aha. Mom came home from church and its time, I had to wake up and get ready to go my aunt house at muara.

Yeap! Me all ready in my newly bought cardigan. Hey, at least Im wearing red this year. =p

I'm kinda going for casual this year since Im having class most of the time. =D As soon as cny is over, Ill be cleaning up my closets. I tried putting in my new clothes into my closet and I realised my closet is already full. Yet I always complained that I do not have enough clothes. right meis, right. =s

Anyways! Lets get back to the topic. I went to my aunt there this morning at 11a.m with my mom. So much for being on diet, I ate 2 full plates of beef-mashed-potato-pasta kinda thingie~ It was yummmy! My cousin, maria's mom made it.

Speaking of maria, my cousin. When my grandmother and the rest of my aunts, uncles and relatives arrived. Not long after that, mom decided to go to my 1st sis-in-law's parent's house. My aunt and my cousins were going too at that time, I suppose. So Maria was standing right beside me and mind you, she's like dont know how many years younger than I am but she's TALLER THAN I AM!

I feel so short T.T boo you maria! haha! jkjk~ but my cuzzy is pretteh~~ ;)

but nevermind lah, being at this height has it own goods too ya. loL~ Gotta love the way I am. :P *comforting myself* HAHAHAHAH!!!

okay moving on!

Mom sent me home after we visited 1st-inlaw's parent's house. Not long after that, my 2nd-sis-inlaw came and we went to the mall. She wanted to go to summit to buy herself a new shoe but couldnt find anything she liked. She end up buying me a top from IORA, cause I told her I wanted a smart-kinda-top. I wasnt expecting her to buy for me, seriously. At first I just thought of borrowing a top from her or something but she forced me into fitting room in the end anyways. =.= gah~ But anywaays.. I really have a cool sis inlaw.

You know, I never thought that taking law test also have to dress smart. Like wtf? Few years back my sister in law just went in with a short skirt and a shirt lah. sien eh~ oh Im gonna have my law test this coming thursday in the afternoon. You have no idea how paranoid I am now about driving. I'm already starting to have this second thought, why not I just ask people to drive me around? haha. Driving license isnt something I really need anyway. =.= Forget it!

So erm~ right after that, we went to swenson. again, we ate. I was seriously bloated when I finished my food. =.= I so need to start going on diet, for real this time!

Commitment!

oh~ Yesterday night we had dinner at my aunt there too. My 3rd brother brought his girlfriend along and she slimmed down alot!!!! So lawa~~

So see! Must really jia you after cny liao! (listen first. =x)

My niece. I wanted to take a picture of her, but she was moving around so yea. =.=

we were at my aunt house again just now, together with wingz.

My nieces is sho adorable. I was carrying Edith into my sisinlaw car when we wanted to go home. So E was waving goodbye to wingz. Then my sisinlaw said 'ah now she wants your boyfriend". Judith, my other niece heard what her mother said. You know what she said?.. "I wan a boyhflen~" rofl~ pekcek!

Remember I brought a stray puppy home? I called it MIMI. Now its all grownup.
well the main point isnt that.

Take a look at its picture.

Did you notice the colour of his eyes? Its freaking yellow-ish brown. When I saw this picture, it made me think it was blind! =.= wth~ my mom tied her up cause shes really too naughty. You know, when it was small, I showered it. It nearly bite my nose! Too naughty. =S but her eyes are beautiful, dont you think so? loL~

I guess this is it. I'mma end my blog now since I have nothing to blog about anymore. I feel very lethargic today. My class is starting really soon, Ill be having classes starting from 9th february and its going to be mostly night class. Ohh~ how I dread so much going back to class. Sigh.

Nights loveliess!

Meis wishes you a great chinese new year, a great and better life ahead sincerely from her heart. and may more and more and more people get into relationship, so there'll be less lonely people in the world. ;)

*kisses* Toodles!

Oh Baby make me fly~~

2009-01-23T20:43:00.005+08:00

All those floods and landslide is starting to freak me out. The heavy rain & lightning too. omg. =S Even the mall looks so deserted to me now. Its so dark. You know, gives me the feeling of "I am Legend". Bwoh! HAHAHAHHAHA WHAT.

Oh because there's no electricity and mall isnt open, I couldnt buy myself a new pair of jeans. =.= Ive been searching everywhere for clothes but I just couldnt find anything that attracts me. Maybe tomorrow, Ill go search around again for one last time. If theres still no luck, then well yea, thats fine. After CNY also still can buy right? No problem one lah. LOL.

Today I went to LCB to get my result. I've got 3A and 1C. My friends got 4A. T.T I know I know, I should be THANKFUL. =D

SO, I AM VERY THANKFUL and FINALLY RELIEVED. =D=D=D=D rofl.

I had law class today too. This coming sunday would be the last one. OMG. I CANT WAIT. Its so boring lor can! I brought my mp3 to class today so I wouldnt die of boredom. OH. I was trying striked everything correct today. We were given paper and the questions, its just like test(not real one la duh). but because of my stupid mistakes, I got 3 wrong. =.= C'mon lah! Could have got everything correct lei. sien =.=

ANYWAYS. I have nothing to blog about. OH. Ive quit watching series cause its not doing anything good to me. It made me addicted then end up sleeping late. Therefore I HAVE LOTS OF PIMPLES NOW. I HATE.

So, I'mma just post Pictures of earings.

This one is so adorable!

See.. Awwwww. HAHA.

These earings are for sales, but the prices arent up yet. I'm just helping out, so if anyone's interested, drop a msg in my tagboard. OR go to KimShop
for more pictures.

I was thinking of posting all of it here but suddenly I became lazy. ROFL. I'll post the pictures some other time.

*kisses* Toodles!

-Edited- Prices are updated at KimShop, click on the Link on top. Because this is a trial, so the prices are cheap and the items are from korea. All the items are only in 1 quantity. =)

If only I knew..

2009-01-21T12:23:00.007+08:00

Ive lost my mood in blogging again. Sigh.

Anyways, Ive been at home watching series. Its also because of the raining season that made me lazier and lazier to get off from bed. So yea, Ive been on my bed, watching all the series that I have in my room. haha. Ive finished off one series already yesterday night. Im going to start a new series when I get home from shopping later.

Oh. Last monday, I did went to miri. I broke my record, I totally didnt buy anything AT ALL. My brother and My Mother wanted to go Emart. My 2nd brother were busy looking around for high-heel for my niece. So I followed mami around buying veges, fruits and all. =.= Places I dislike to go! sigH!!!

Right after that my 3rd bro drove us to Boulevard. Again, I didnt buy anything there. Why? My 2nd brother is busy shopping for PYJAMA for my niece. -____-|| I dont wanna walk around alone, but thats fine. I was already tired from all the walking, so Ill just follow them around. Afterall, Im going to go shopping today @.@ Nyahaha.

Oh Oh. How long havent you seen her face here?

Taaadaaahhh....!!

Stephie & I ^^

This picture was taken when we're in miri. I wonder why I look kinda chubbeh there o.O. Anyways, I'm glad we could work things out, ya know, after all the arguements and shits. =)

Moving on. Did I told you that 3 days ago, I was having the unluckiest day of my life? Well, not really that unlucky lah. LOL. I attended my law class last sunday. Before that, I had a very uneasy feeling about it so I kinda hestitated going in. GUESS WHAT. I was so frigging right! I saw someone I didnt really like, I was sitting next to the wall, I nearly wanted to bang my head on the wall at that instant! but forget it. She done nothing really horrible to me anyway. Im just being.. ahaha.. me. :P

Scroll up, I did mentioned that I went to miri last monday too, didnt I? I was at boulevard, with my mom. Its unbelievable. I saw another person, AGAIN, that I am not quite fond of. I was like.. What the hell is wrong with me. I dont even know why Im seeing people that I desperately wanted to avoid. sheesh. I wont mention her name here, its not nice. Its just, you know, all the years of friendship we builed up down the drain just like that, its kinda wasted. But, As usual, the me being me wouldnt bother to go up and say hi. Why should I? Why dont you tell me? You're the one who didnt find me for the whole month. If you dont bother, I wouldnt too. I hoped you had a great life there without us, and may you find the BEST of your friends thats so way MUCH way better than I am. Am I right? =D HEH.

Ive never liked competition when it comes to friends. I'd give my best if I could. I've tried to be a friend and listened to you all the time. Gave what I could cause I knew you had a miserable life back then at highschool. Can you go figure it out? When nobody wanted to be friends with you, the time you're leftout when it comes to group work. Who was the one who talked to you during recess? Who was the one who befriend with you? WHO? After all the backstabbing and jealousy that I heard from so many people, Ive choosen to trust you didnt I? Did I NOT? At least, Ive got the guts to admit that Ive said things about you, how about you? I dont know what you're hiding and I dont know why. Eversince the day you deleted off the messages, Ive already lost all my trust in you. I knew you were in a dilemma, you didnt know who to trust. SO DO I . Remember our last conversation? when I was trying to solve things out. You denied, thats fine. So what happen after that last conversation of us? I thought you said you didnt mind? I thought you said this time you wouldnt get mad. So, you wouldnt even find me and explain if there was any misunderstanding. Okay, thats fine too. Dont come saying I was the one didnt bother to find you. So that probably means, If I dont bother to find you till years, you wouldnt too? Good. All the best then. =)

MOVING ON. Can any of you be a little bit more responsible? Why am I the one whose taking all the blame for all the things Ive done wrong, yet all of you could easily get off with it? IF you are not coming out, At least send me a message okay? Dont keep me waiting, AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. You dont even bother coming on MSN telling me why you didnt message me, or why you couldnt come out. Do I look like someone who would tolerate shits from you is it? DO I? I DONT OKAY. I dont even know why I bother msn-ing you. Once you get back into relationship, you ditched me AGAIN. YEA YOU.

~~Im done ranting. I had enough. Ive been keeping so much, why should I act like I am fine? argh.~~

Forget it. Nothing matters much now. I just wanna improve my relationship with one person at the moment. The rest, Im too tired dealing with you. Im too tired repeating how I feel. If you dont care, then I wont.

Im going to shower now.

*kisses* toodles!

2009-01-15T16:46:00.002+08:00

Few days ago, I fell down and injured my knee. Awesome. Thanks to the raining season and my slippery sandal. Yahoo! It still frigging hurts! Gawd! =.= When was the last time that you actually fell down and injured yourself? Geesus. Great, Another scar. Takes forever to make it gone.

Howdy Ya'll?

I'm rotting at home, with nothing better to do. Ive finished 2 seasons of Hannah Montana and now Im watching it all over again. I. AM. EXTREMELY. BORED. It's time to go on digging for more series to watch. I'm beginning to wonder when does class actually starts cause mom is doubting me yaw. =.= If I could lie about not going to school, that'd probably be great. Hey. =.= Holiday is boring but its way better than sitting in class for hours. AND you would never know whats going to happen next. Its even worse if you start on the wrong foot on the first day of class right. RIGHT. T.T Sigh. I wanna stay home. HOME!!

Chinese new year is coming up, cant wait to get lots of ka-chings. ;) So done any shoppings for chinese new year yet? Ive only got 2 new tops, one outerwear and a sandal. Hmm.. I should go out and get myself a few pair of new jeans.... and a new bag. right. =.= Speaking about bags. I couldnt find anything I like when I was in miri. Sigh.

Alright. Im stucked watching Hannah Montana now. HEHEHEHE.

SO, GOTTA GO!

*kisses* Toodles!

Don't let me get me, I'm my own worst enemy..

2009-01-12T23:14:00.000+08:00

Right. Im so much my own worst enemy. As usual, take the previous post as Ive gone totally mad. :P LOL. Im sure most of you are used to my sudden emotional breakdown. nyhahaha.

Didnt even knew that I overslept, I woke up like around 12.30p.m today. Its probably better to start adjusting my sleeping time to normal. =.=

So yea. I forgotten to mention about my driving law class. I didnt went to my law class last wednesday. Due to something didnt went right, so we changed the day and another place to take driving law class. Whatever makes them happy.

ANYWAYS.

Stephie overnight at my house before the day we went tot miri, right?. We bought 5 chicks flick, and 3 comedies. It was really a crazy.

We totally finished them up in 2 nights. Its been a long time since we've been this way, so I kinda miss it now. *~winks

Wild child is awesome. ;) The new term for "trouble". I love it. Rebellious and all. Its just so me. HAHA.

Moving on. I finally went out with Portner today. Nah, thats not his real name. I took so long to actually recall whats his name. Sorry! XD

After 7 years or more of knowing each other, its probably the first time we finally went out together. In the past, We've only met each other when Im in my cousin house when theres like open house or things like that.

So yeap! A sweet guy. Compliment dude! Dont say I didnt compliment you at all, okay?

Why sweet? Its raining the whole day today. Daym. I wasnt even worried about myself getting wet, but he seems to be more worried than I am. Ive told him not to bother about me, A little rain wouldnt hurt right? He still came over with an umbrella, even opened up the car door for me. LOL. You gotta chill man.

As what I had expected. I went into his car and I knew it! He talks so much! OMG. But its not a bad thing lah. Dont worry ;) It would be nice for a change. Instead of me doing the talking all the time, he'd do all the talking then. :P Nyahaha..

Anyways, thanks portner! ^^ I had a nice day today. Finally I didnt cancel off our outing again today yea :P See you again soon. =)

Went to au lait for a drink.

Portner's cup.

Mine. Not Love shape de =(

You know. I hantam blog one this post. Sorry. AHAHAHAHHAHAH! So dont mind my english, its kinda crappy today. =\

*kisses* Toodles!

2009-01-12T00:01:00.002+08:00

In Times Of (credits : indianchild.com)
by Kit McCallum

My soul drifts aimlessly in times of hopelessness.
It searches tirelessly for meaning and truth ...
Yet finds no direction.
My heart bleeds quietly in times of loneliness.
It yearns to find warmth and happiness ...
Yet it somehow eludes me.

My eyes seek out visions in times of want.
They gaze endlessly through the blackness that envelops them Yet they cannot see the light.

My ears listen earnestly in times of silence.
They search for familiar sounds to comfort and console ...
Yet they cannot penetrate the darkness that surrounds me.
My arms reach out frantically in times of despair.
They seek strength and compassion to enfold me ...
Yet they find nothing substantial to enwrap.
My mind cries out desperately in times of solitude.
It poses intense questions that demand answers ...
Yet there are none to be found.
My hand reaches out earnestly in these times of confusion.
It dials the number of a familiar and calming voice ...
And gratefully, my lifeline to sanity ... remains intact

I'm feeling extremely down, but its not like it never happened before. Everytime this happens, I really feel like killing myself. I dont know whats bothering me, Seriously. But I can never seems to get it figured out. So tell me. Ive never tried making my life hard, it just there are times Im feeling like this without any reasons at all. Ive tried to think and look at the bright side. Sooner or later, Id still feel weak and fall on my knee. I hate feeling like this, I hate. Sigh. Nights.

someday...

With all my heart..

2009-01-11T20:51:00.005+08:00

If only I look like how I look in pictures D:

Ive seen people in facebook from being single getting into a relationship, like almost everyday? LOL. Awesome! I mean, I dont know what to say about it but its a good thing right? haha. This is cool. nyahahhaa.. I wished the best for those who just got into a relationship this year!

Unlike last year, everyone's breaking up. =.= So heartbreaking lor okay.

ANYWAYS. I wanted to wait for a picture I took with stephie on the day we went to miri. but nevermind. lol. Prolly next time.

Im not going to blog details about what I did in miri though. Im a lazy blogger. :P

Sho~~~

I dont really wanna say this, but miri people is rude. =.= Sory dy. LOL.

Well, Im not saying ALL miri people is rude. Just those whom I encountered there on that day. Not a good day I suppose? :x

I bought fahrenheit's latest album. Daymn, I must be really outdated. I actually never realised it. Even Rain's new album Rainism, I dont even know about it. =.=

Oh. Thats, er.. yoga? From the "One Million Star" LOL.

I'm too lazy to download his songs, so I bought his album. Afterall, I do collect lots of singer's album. XP

Along with the fahrenheit's latest album. Ive got a.. notebook? With wuchun's face infront. So I flip the book cover, I took calvin's face instead. =.= WHAT! You people crazy about wuchun, not me okay? o.O

HAIS. I should have just gone up and ask for the notebook with jiro's face instead. T.T WHY!!!!!

I didnt get rain's Rainism though. Thats because I havent heard any of his song yet, but his cd cover is so cool. Maybe next time. Im going down to miri again, on the 19th.

.......................................

Ive lost every single thoughts that I wanted to blog about, again. =.= I really feel like banging my head onto the wall. Forget it. I'll try some other day again then. :S sucks.

fuh~ Im going to bed now.

*kisses* Toodles!

p/s:I dont even sense any sarcasm in it. weirdo~ =.=

I dont wanna dream, cause my dreams dont comfort me..

2009-01-09T18:58:00.005+08:00

Frigging exhausted yesterday.

I think it was 2 days ago or something. I downloaded a song that sounded like jaychou's voice, but it wasnt.

His name, 许嵩 / Vae.
Age 23 this year. Born 1986.

Damn, this side of his face reminds me of jaychou. Except, a cuter one. =.=

He's cute. Nyahahaha..

I played this song in wingz's car, and even asked his friend "whose song do you think this is?"

"ah.. jaychou."

When I dowloaded Vae song, I really think he sounded kinda like jaychou. In a way. Maybe a much more cuter version one? and Jaychou is much more of a cooler one. and, slightly higher pitch I suppose? =.=

Even some part of his song and the way he sing reminded me of Jaychou.

Well, for people who dont really listen to his song all the time wouldnt really notice that I guess?

I did asked a friend of mine about it too. but she dont really listen much to jaychou's song.

her answer cracks me up.. "sounded landir" HAHA!

but he's fine, hes fine.

Try this song : 多余的解释

I think the starting part totally sounded like the way jaychou sing.

Tell me about it! aha!

Oh!

Miri was exhausting. I didnt get to have starbucks. Sadness T.T Blog about it soon! Pemalas. XP

*kisses* Toodles!

I dont wanna dream about all the things that never were..

2009-01-05T23:50:00.002+08:00

Its 12a.m and Im still wide awake. Though I know that Im actually kinda tired.

I had a fun day today, with yahming. =) Had lunch at pizzahut. I love caesar salad.

Finally get to watch YesMan after so many times of delaying the day. Blame it all on mall, cause its so freaking jam. Sometimes I just dont get why they have to block and reserved parking lots. Dont they know that gadong is so jam and its so hard to get parking already? sheesh.

Anyways, About YesMan. I always have love JimCarrey's Movie. Such a funny dude. but I guess I just didnt find that movie really funny. I dont know. I just dont get the joke? or I think Im immune to the those jokes already. =.= yes stephie, its boring. (kinda) sigh.

Right after movie, We went back to yahming's home. Played a little while with his niece and then off to GuitarHero. Its so unfair! I kept losing like shiet! urgh~

His niece sure do love me. Shes so cute you know. She doesnt allow me to go home. =.= wahlao eh~

So yea. I woke up in pain today. Muscle Cramp. I dont know how long it is since I did sit up. I just started situps again 2 days ago, now it freaking hurts. ouch T.T

I see people doing resolution when I was bloghoping but Im not going to do it. I'll just go with the flow and my feelings. If there is a resolution, I bet its going to be "I WANNA LOSE MY FATS" HAHAHAHAHAH. WHAT! sheesh.

Oh. Theres one! I wanna learn drums! But mom wouldnt let me. She think its just not nice for girls to play drums. Sigh.. T.T

right. Ive just updated my wishlist. Call me crazy. Hey, nothing is ever enough okay?

See that, HTC TouchPro there? I made yahming totally fall in love with it. LOL. My bad. nyahahahhaha! Its awesome okay that phone. I have this urge to throw my phone right now, so that I have excuses to tell my dad I want a new phone. I doubt so though, I think this time my dad's going to get heart attack. This baby of mine has only been with me for 6 months. Not only that, its actually my second phone Ive changed in year 2008. Thats because all my phone never lasted more than a year. heh. Call me rough, or whatever. Im just not in luck when it comes to mobile phones.

Ah. Everyone's starting school already. I know I still have my holidays until I dont know when. But, I really am not looking foward going to class again. =.= I dont want to! SIGH. I feel so annoyed with everyone, somethings just so wrong with me. Time bomb. Uh oh.

Hmm..

Kinda feel so lonely tonight. Sucks. I dont like recalling back memories sometimes. It just hurts so much. Theres so many things I wanna do and I should. I dont know where to start. I just wished I knew the reasons. My wishlist, Her. Hai.. this is so.. stupid.

Forget it. =.= I shall just concentrate on fixing my relationship with those whom I love right now. Someday.. Someday.

ANYWAYS!!!!!!! I AM SO ANGRY. THE NET IS SO.. ARGH. PAIN IN THE ASS! I WANNA CHANGE MY SONG IN MY BLOG BUT THEN IT WONT UPLOAD THE SONG. STUPID NET! I HATE YOU!!!! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESUS!!!!

-.-

Im tired. I wanna go to bed now.

*kisses* Toodles!

Spotlight on me and Im ready to break..

2009-01-04T12:38:00.005+08:00

I feel so restless. =.= Had to wake up early for church today, and I only fell asleep at 2a.m. Sucks. Im too used to sleeping late already.

Was having lunch at escapade with my family and cousins just now. Feeling all so bloated, my diet is such a failure. Ive been gaining some weights these days, sigh~ Time to control my eating or else, its going to be hell for me.

Its the fourth day of 2009. Did anyone start off with a bad new year? I didnt. ^^ Im so relieved. I thought 2009 is going to be another rough road ahead. Im so going to cry if it is T.T

I stayed home the whole day yesterday and I found myself a newly addicted game, ZumaDeluxe. Now I have something to do to pass time when Im bored. Muahahhaa..

I did went out last friday though. Was having lunch with stephie and went around seeing if theres anything to buy. I bought myself something called a Bio-Oil. Its for removing scar, Uneven Skin tone, Dehydrated Skin and etc. I used to have it until I lost it when I was having my holiday in kuching. Nabeh.

If it does work, I'd tell ya'll yea! I have lots of scars on my hand, =.= Dont ask me why. heh.

Anyways, I might go down to miri this thursday! Havent been there since I-dont-know-when-and-how-long. Maybe I should start listing down the things that I wanna find. Im going to need a new bag for college. My bag is so much in a horrible condition. Old and torn. T.T

Kinda had this in my mind though. Like, should I tell my dad that I'll just finish off one more of my semester and off I go to melbourne! Afterall, theres no point in finishing all the semesters when the degree is to be taken in UK. =.= Also, at this point, Im almost going insane. Im so bored here and I totally hate the low life scumbags who have nothing much better to do going around spreading rumours that weren't even true. You should burn in hell! _|_

Of course I dont totally hate life here. Im so going to miss him, dydy and my friends. My.. bed. My room? Hippie and maribell is so coming to melb with me, if I do leave. HAHA!!

Maribell ^^ sho cute.

Basically, Im having dilemma. HAHA. So yea.

ANEYWAYSSS..

I was trying to tidy up my room few days ago, So I started off with arranging all my stuff on my Make-up table. Put in all my blings blings into a drawer and then I continued on arranging my perfumes.

14 perfumes. theres 2, on the other rack near my bed.

My latest addiction. Yes, Perfumes. While I was arranging it, I count how many perfumes I have. I was surprised to find out that I actually owned 16 perfume bottles. 4 were empty and 12 weren't. I never realise I have that much and yet I still have more perfumes that I wanted to get my hands on 'em!

Armani code is the next thing Im so going to get!

I gave one of my IncredileMe to yahming. ^^

Pretty hor the bottle?

I was thinking. Should I get a haircut? My hair is pretty dry and it annoys the hell out of me. Afterall, its 2009. Its a new year, maybe change a new hairstyle, again? I dont know if I should cut my hair though cause I miss having my long hair. Ah~ Maybe I should dye my hair? HAha. Sucks~ =.= I wonder what colour should I do this time. Hmm~

Here goes random outdated pictures =.=

Baby, Dont forget your Chivas and Vodka. Its impossible for me to finish it. =.=

Me & Baby =)

Now this reminds me. I gotta go out with you before you fly back to perth. =.=

Gretz&I

I&Dy. ^^ Muaks.

Gretz,I,Min&Baby.

My effing gong face. O.O

Its been awhile since I last post lots of pictures. So I think this is enough for now. Im too lazy to wait for the upload. Net these day has been really slow. Im so feddup. =\

So yea. *kisses* Toodles!

p/s: I'm starting my driving law class this coming wednesday!!!! ;D

You're my fantasy, You're my reality.

2009-01-01T22:20:00.002+08:00

I think the saddest thing to happen before the starting of a whole new year(2009) is being ditched by your boyfriend. haha. Well, maybe not. Maybe the whole near year would bring you much way better guy than your previous bastard ex-boyfriend. LOL. True what. XD

No No, Dont worry. =.= I wasnt ditched by anyone. I just happened to find out about that when I was blog hopping. So It just suddenly pop out in my mind about how sad it will be to go through new year with tears being heartbroken and all. Sad Sad. Hais. :\

Anyways, when I was blog hopping. I nearly had an urge to drop by a person tagboard. C'mon lah, Stop contradicting yourself loh. The road you choose, thats the consequences you pay for la stupid. And just because you "think" you can(I doubt), doesnt give you the rights to tell people "I can, you can." Go F Yourself. Of course, I didnt do that lah. I would hate it if suddenly theres people saying bad things about me in my tagboard, so Im not going to do that :P

See, I told you. My mood was so horrible these days, and now Im all fine. Seriously, I hate my moodswings. =.= but I guess pms explains everything why my moodswings got worse day by day. oh boy.

So yea, I just came home not long, from gadong. I am so exhausted. I walked like a dead zombie in the mall. Hais. Jin sien one, dont even know what to do.

Was out with my friends, they were doing shopping but not me. I am severely broke. I finished up my money on christmas present for a friend of mine. Even worst, I totally fall in love with that gift I gave her. lol. NVM! Im going to get it one day. haha. If you're wondering what was it that I totally fall in love with, try guessing it. I did put it in my wishlist. :P

CNY is getting near. So I gotta keep reminding myself to get myself new clothes. I wonder how Im going to dress up this year. Ahh.. Think think think.

So how was your new year? Good? lol. Im just all fine right now. Its quiet but I like it this way. Only this way, I wouldnt have too much to bother about.

Alrigh now, Ive gotta go take a shower and rest early. PMS is causing lots of pimples popping out from my face. I just did facial one T.T Sniff sniff. I no likey pimples. Hais.

NItes peopls. Hope you had a great new year. Love, always meis.

This it how it goes down..

2009-01-01T00:54:00.002+08:00

Its 12.55AM now.

I just came home half hour ago. Before that, I was having a small family dinner.

So yea. Welcome 2009! Eventhough a day before 2009, I seemed to found out there are people who tries to put me down.

Ah well, I guess I should stop for now. Since I have nothing much better to say. I dont have an extremely good english and good mind. So Id always have hard time trying to put what I feel into words so therefore I cant blog a long post.

Just wanna wish you all a Happy New Year. HUGS.

A kingdom alone with no love to confess..

2008-12-30T01:27:00.004+08:00

Neglecting this poor blog of mine, again.

Ive changed 2008 wishlist to 2009. Obviously.

Have you been wondering where I went? Nowhere, really. Ive been at home. Sleeping. Watching my movies. Day dream about lots of things. Not to mention, trying to figure out how to get out of all these misery.

2008 is almost over now. How was your 2008 year? Oh, how was christmas then?

I wouldnt say anything much about my christmas this year. 2 words to describe. Boring&Lame.

Spending christmas in brunei? What shits can you try to figure out to do other than going to the oh-so-called-famous-mall that everyone seems to be there every single night finding oh-so-hard parking.

and at times, I even wonder, whats so nice about the mall anyway? Its so hard to get a parking and because of that, I couldnt shop for things I want. Damn it!

Of course, I can go to other places other than spending christmas at the mall right? but seriously, theres no place to go here. Even worse, most of my friends are either off busy with their own plan or went off overseas.

Now I seriously wanna run away from this place. Brunei is good alright, its peacefull and lots of benefits. I guess its just all moodswings thats affecting my mood so badly now. I need to run away from this place, breathe some fresh different air.

So, I guess this year I wasnt really in a mood for christmas at all. I bet christmas would be so so much merrier in melbourne with the rest of my families. Oh how many times have I complained about this anyway. Gah.

Im hoping 2009 would be so much better than 2008. Its way too much for me to handle more extreme heartbreaks and bullshits from idiots. Pardon me for my rudeness, but fuck you!

I dont know what shits have I learnt from 2008 but I definitely did not had a good year at all. Despite the time when I just started my first semester in laksamana, it was great at first. Then things suddenly turned.. not really what I was expecting. Would 2009 be more worst? My next semester? Oh my gah. NO!!!!

Ive also noticed that Ive never once stop crying, having fights with friends, trying so hard to deal and cope up with so much things the whole year of 2008.

Seriously, 2008 is F-up. So much.

Looking back all the things Ive done.

I pretty much f-up with few of my friends, again. I guess Im just not in luck. Sigh.

Friends. haha. Sure aint easy to find someone whom you could be trusting with all your heart. Vice Versa.

Everytime I thought I really found someone whom I could trust but it just ended up so not right, you know? Either she/he couldnt trust me anymore or at all, or Vice Versa.

and whats even more worst? Friends who stick around with you just so they could dig more shits from you and then soon you'd start to realise, how come life has been getting harder ever since that person exist. THERE YOU GO! Oh no.

Is it me, or everyone's just perfectly normal. Im just plain weird?

You know, these days, I couldnt even stand 1 minute having to sit in the car and round the mall just to get a parking. Everytime I tried thinking of going to the mall, Ill just give a feddup look.

=.=

So yea. 2008.

Lost contact with someone Id totally want to keep in touch with again. I wish.

Lots of fights.

Totally glad that Im out of st.georges.

Went to laksamana college and met new friends.

A year where I have so much dilemma.

Tried hard to stop using makeup on my face. Its like drugs, so damn addictive.

Studied for my exam till I almost had a breakdown.

Started to get in contact with old friends.

Knew Kai dy. =)

So much more which Im totally too tired to think about it now.

Im so going to pray hard for a better 2009. =(

I hope you all had a great christmas and enjoy your last few days of 2008.

Will try to update often but no promise as moodswings has been getting alot worse these days. ^^

Today a Saviour was born..

2008-12-25T00:54:00.001+08:00

Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS my dear friends! =)

Another Day Another Drama

2008-12-23T21:24:00.004+08:00

Ive been neglecting my blog for quite some time now. hehehe.

The same excuses, Im "lazy" and "busy".

Im lazy cause Ive been too busy watching an old series that I just bought lately.

Its a series called "My date with a vampire". Classic. Hahaha! Im up to part 3 now.

Ive also been busy sleeping. Yes, other than going out, and trying to finish my series. Ive been sleeping. The more I sleep, the lazier I get. =.=

ANYWAYS.

Ive been busy with pet society too!!!!!!! *lol*

Finally, Ive got the pink christmass tree that I was so desperate for.

Christmas is coming! Have you planned anything yet? I havent had a plan yet =.=

Christmas in brunei definitely wont be as fun as last year. I miss having christmas in melbourne. =(

.....

For the past few days, I was like a time bomb.

Ive got so much going in my mind.

So much that there are things I dont know whether its the right thing to do or was it wrong.

You can say, this is one of the reason why I havent been wanting to blog. Cause, I dont wanna pretend like as if nothing's bothering me, at the same time, I dont want to and I dont know how to express how I really felt in this blog.

Cause each time I tried to think deeper, I'd lost every single words that I want to talk about.

Ah well~ This is life. It was never an easy road for me anyways.

Im'ma end this post now cause I wanna go back and finish off my series.

A picture of seng, me, kaidy & cck(front)

That night, they came to my house along with some others guys & girls to have some fun.

Theres still more pictures in my folder which Im too lazy to upload all of them now. Maybe some other time, again.. =.=

Alright, time to go. Ciaoz ;)

p/s : IP MAN IS AWESOME!

If you catch me, Show me how much you want me..

2008-12-13T11:07:00.002+08:00

IM FREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My exam is OVER. Its parteh time honneh!!!!

Anyways! Ive been sick at home the whole day! gosh~

I enjoyed the process. I seriously hated the outcome.

I had too much liquour, thats why. =.= and now Im scared even just by looking at it. *pukes*

Whatever. It doesnt matter wether Im lousy or not. Its hurts my throat, my voice anyway. So Im'ma stop drinking.

BUT. THANKS BABY! FOR THE NIGHT. ;D IF only I didnt had too much, My head wouldnt be too heavy for me to sing. =.=

hey! I remember now. My bracelet lei. Why I come back after that night, everything also come off one T.T ahaha!

ANYWAYS.

Who wanna learn make-up? $388.

Its from Next Monday to Tuesday. Starting from 9am to 5pm.

And you'd also get a certificate after it, I guess thats what Ive been told.

I dont know what more other reasons I can get to get out of these =.= but hey, if you're interested, why not? Just call me up. ^^

Sorry, theres no pictures this time. Im too lazy to upload them up and post it here.

My time is a little bit squeeze up now, so erm, I might have a hard time sorting my time to go out with my friends whom have been trying to contact me. I apologise =.= Everything came rushing in all of sudden. I promise! Ill make it up for those time Ive cancelled you off.

So yea! Long overdue pictures might be randomly post up some time soon. Not now. =)

ONE of my wishlist has already been striked off! *grins*

Ive finally gotten ESCADA - INCREDIBLE ME.

I hell love escada!!!!!

OH. Ive been tagged. Ill do it soon k babe? =.= I malas lah to upload pictures again. So I gotta go ciaoz now. Going out for lunch. Will make a proper update soon. Love ya!

This is Bullshit..

2008-12-09T18:11:00.002+08:00

Pet Society. Lots of people are playing it now. ;D

Its not bad lah. To waste my time when I have nothing to do. The pets are cute though!

Anyways! Long time no update!

Im all stress-up. I seriously hate accounting. I HATE. Ive got U for accounting for my O'level. So even if Im going to be failing it now, again. Fuck it then! =.=

GAH.

Im going back to start studying again. T.T

Just to update, to show that Im not dead yet. ;) ~ !!

"Could've Had Everything"

2008-12-03T18:22:00.003+08:00

Heaven's sake everyone
For standin' in my way
For ruinning all my fun
You say your doing it for my sake

I thought I did my best
It was nearly good enough
But all that effort I guess
It didn't add up to very much
It hurts me when you call
I hate the way your thinkin'
I could have so easily had it all
I could've had everything,
I could've had everything
This perfect life I'm in,
Screwin' myself over
I could've had everything

I should have had everything
You almost got me thinking
I'm screwing myself over
Screwin' myself over

They say that madness is
Doing a thing the same way
You hope its gonna turn out different
But ya doing it anyway
I guess it's what I did with you
But at least I have a reason
So my apologies, wont go to anyone
It hurts me when you say,
That all my close mates hate me
I really thought I had it all
I could've had everything
I could've had everything
It's the perfect life Im in,
screwing myself over,
Screwing myself over
I could've had everything
I should've had everything
You almost got me thinking
I'm screwing myself over
I coulda, I coulda, I coulda
I coulda, I coulda, I coulda had everything
I coulda, I coulda, I coulda
I coulda, I coulda had everything

I came so near to thinking
I had something
I could've had everything
It's the perfect life Im in
Screwing myself over
Could've had everything
I should've had everything
You almost got me thinking
I'm screwing myself over
Could've had everything
I should've had everything
It's the perfect life Im in
Screwing myself over
Could've had everything
I should've had everything
You almost got me thinking
I'm screwing myself over

Credits : Azlyrics.

Changed the music in my blog again.

A Bonus Track by Pink.

Pink rocks!

Nothing much is going on in my life now. So, I wont be updating or anything. Maybe right after my exam is over then I might have things to share? haha. Anyways. Im very sleep, so Im going to get a shower and go to bed yea. CIaoz.

2008-12-02T11:10:00.004+08:00

Think positive meis!

HI. I just had my shower and going to class. This week will be my last week of class, then its going to be my exam soon! So wish me luck! =.= *shivers*

ciaozz

you taught me not to care, so I wont..

My Wonder World

I have my rights too

Dollyeye Love

My heart loves you.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012 ♥

Animals are God's Creation too

PS I'm still not over you :)

Forever a part of me ♥

♥ JoJo ♥

I Love Baby JoJo ♥

This is life, Can't give a fuck anymore

When I think of you, I don't feel so alone ♥

Happy Birthday Love!

My Love

Thank You Lord

No one knows the rythm of my heart

I'll make every second count

Every breath it's harder to believe

Lazy Bum

Last Cry

Can't take this shit no more

Don't wanna be torn

Take this chances, We'll make it somehow..

Butterfly fly away..

Can't go far, can't always dream..

It's gonna be just fine

What you've put me through..

I hate this part right now

難道這晚特別怕冷 人牆內擦過寂寞應該慣

Another drama down

Terima Kasih Cinta Untuk Segalanya ♥

ToGetHer

All in All, It's just another day now

Feels like it's gonna give life's to hard to live anymore

Blow the candles

Dear GOD..

All that is needed is time

We used to be so fine.

The lights are on, but I'm still in the dark.

when it all falls apart..

Struggling for a way out

Cause you're never out of second chance

One of those days

Not falling for it no more..

No. Not again.

Bunnehh

I try to find some hope to try and hold onto.

I thought you'll always be here..

Take me back to days gone by

If my heart breaks, It's gonna hurt so bad.

Don't wanna lose a friend, you gotta understand.

Dum di DUm dii Dum

From the bottom of the blackest hole..

I rather waste my life pretending..

Shake it off, let it go..

A little too not over you..

Wishing you a..

Make this pain go away.

Something doesn't feel right these days..

Life keeps getting in the way..

We might find a place in this world someday..

It's a long long way to happy..

with every step together, we just keep on getting better..

Take my hand..

If only my dreams were real..

My life's a fantasy that you're not smart enough to even dream

I make my own rules..

Oh Baby make me fly~~

If only I knew..

Don't let me get me, I'm my own worst enemy..

With all my heart..

I dont wanna dream, cause my dreams dont comfort me..

I dont wanna dream about all the things that never were..

Spotlight on me and Im ready to break..

You're my fantasy, You're my reality.

This it how it goes down..

A kingdom alone with no love to confess..

Today a Saviour was born..

Another Day Another Drama

If you catch me, Show me how much you want me..

難道這晚特別怕冷人牆內擦過寂寞應該慣